25 What Ifs That Might Change My Life Forever

Episode 186 – Wednesday, September 27th, 2017 (7575)

In my current situation, I feel unhappy because of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. Health problems in my family have affected my life at home because of my eldest sister suffering her illness. Distractions are always there especially at home because of my elder brother who has been jobless for three years where his bedroom is “shared” my bedroom thru one door and of my parents. And I have been exhausted in waiting for some miracles in my life because until now I still have no job (for 5-6 months) and no girlfriend (for 27 months) at all. That’s why my life has been so boring right now because of these freaking problems making my happiness ruined.

But there are things that I might be thinking of. These situations might not happen if I supposed to live in a comfortable and happy life and the distractions won’t come. What if… all these things that already happened in my life didn’t happen at all? What if… I might not be the same as what I have been right now? And what if… these good and wonderful things that I had before still exist until now?

Since I have been living in the City of Santa Rosa, Laguna for 25 years (actually just 24 and I’ll explain it later on), I just want to share about 25 what ifs that might change my entire life forever. These might alter my present life in the fullest. Few of these are already discussed in my past episodes in this blog, but I now explain more alternate scenarios that might not be the same as what I have right now. Continue reading


What If… I Didn’t Become A Graphic Artist?

Episode 173 – Monday, July 31st, 2017 (7517)

what if my job

I have been out of work for almost five months, but I still don’t understand why I can’t find a right company that is suitable for me to work as a graphic artist/designer. I have already shown my impressive interviews, exam performance, and even my portfolios, but sadly I’m still not qualified to be one of the newest employees of the company. I don’t know their reasons, but I guess because of my background (I was studying in a deaf school) or of having some speech problems (although I now have a clear speech). And I think they might be impressed on my portfolios that fill with my artworks, but I don’t know why.

Being graphic artist/designer might be the one of the simplest but complicated jobs that I’ve ever done in my working career. When I was young, I loved creating drawings on my old notebooks. But I never learned a lot about graphics and multimedia when I was in college although I got some lessons from the Information Technology (I.T.) course that I took. Most of the lessons that I learned and studied from college were programming and creating a software system. But I never pursued these after college graduation. Instead, I went other field to become a graphic artist because that was one of my instincts when I was young as I loved drawings. When I had my first ever job, I immediately learned the techniques in graphic designing and software such as Adobe Creative Suites. And after years of work, I have lots of experiences about this field. Continue reading

What If… PSD Batch 2006 Became My Classmates

Episode 170 – Monday, July 17th, 2017 (7503)

It has been 12 years since my life was changed from so-called “Deaf World” to the ordinary world where I’ve been now belonged. Yeah, for those who don’t know about my past life, I was from an old world where there were deaf people who became my long time friends. It was because I studied in a deaf institution particularly Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD) where I was a “deaf” student for many years. In August 2004, when I was in fourth year (senior) high school, I left PSD to go to the United States for the exchange program where I studied at Alabama School for the Deaf (ASD) with lots of most memorable moments. However, when I came back home after almost a year in the U.S., my school life was shifted, once again, from being “deaf” to an ordinary student together with non-deaf classmates at International Montessori School (IMS), a non-deaf school located just few meters away from my home. This move led the end of my life in the “Deaf World” as I never came back at PSD to resume my fourth year high school (my graduation at ASD was not accredited due of exchange program).

The main reason why I was transferred to IMS from PSD was my avoidance from the PSD Batch of 2006 led by my “deaf mortal enemy”, just called her “Nita”. After involving a controversy back in 2004, she became my adversary because of her “favoritism” at school (thanks to the teachers who were once my allies and became bandwagons after favoring her) and slapping me one time during my class because of her anger. She was chubby, intelligent, and consistent first honor in her batch (of 2006). She had many “allies” who were her classmates in section one. Even after the incident and when I was in the U.S., I was still mad at her because of what she did to me that almost ruined my reputation. That’s why it was a good move for me to be transferred from PSD to continue my high school studies at IMS with new classmates who were non-deaf. Continue reading

What If… I Didn’t Enter In A Deaf School?

Episode 158 – Monday, June 5th, 2017 (7461)

what if not becoming deaf student 01

Today, most of the Filipino youths all over the country have been returning back to their school for the opening of the classes. Most are excited, some are nervous, but some of the kids are afraid and crying after being left by their parents/guardians or whatever. Last episode, I discussed about my life in the past being a student where there were lots of good and bad memorable moments happened during my school life. But some of my friends were asking me, “Why did you study in a deaf school even though you can hear and speak?” Hmmm… that’s complicated question that probably until now it has been a “mystery”. But I simply answered why I put there instead of a “normal” (non-deaf) school before because of my speech deficiency (or in other word: pagkabulol or tongue-twisted). Yeah, even until today, I’m still tongue-twisted every time when I speak or talk with somebody.

However, despite of my ability to hear and to speak (not so loud and clear), I was still enrolled in a deaf school which was Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD), and I studied there for a long time with consistent honors which made me into “supremacy” over my classmates who are totally deaf. Well, that’s already written in my history books where my school life was begun at PSD back in 1994 and continued being a “deaf” student for 11 years until, when I came back from my wonderful experiences in the United States, I was surprisingly transferred to a non-deaf institution which lasted for 5 years until my college graduation in 2010. Continue reading

Working Abroad… Why Not?

Episode 152 – Monday, May 15th, 2017 (7440)

working abroad

It’s hard to find a right place where I can rent a computer in an internet café because it might contain computer virus when I insert my USB and obsolete operating system (OS) which is still using Windows XP (ewww…). There’s no internet connection at home, so that I need to rent for an internet to publish my new stories for my journal (blog). I use to publish only once every week instead of twice per week due of having losing my job last month. And while I’m still looking for a new career/job, I have a lot of free time to explore job openings around, mostly in the metro (well, I miss working in the metro because I had worked in the province for three years). Recently two weeks ago, I explored far places in the metro from my home in Laguna to look something that will be my “forever” in my working career (and in my love life, too). But most of the times, I just enjoyed my leisure to take back some places that had been once part of my “past” (not my past love) that had been part of my life (mostly from during the first years of “Post-Deaf World Era”). Last Tuesday, I visited a non-government organization in Ortigas that helped me to bring me in the United States to become an exchange student back in 2004. When I was there, I saw many new faces that were far different from the last time when I visited almost 12 years ago (although one of my former batch mates (who also became exchange student) was not present, and she’s now their head director, I think). And then last Friday, I went to Commonwealth, Quezon City to visit a government agency for persons with disabilities (even though I was scolded by one of my beloved coordinators after confessing about being jobless and my financial problem with my family). Continue reading

What If… AlDub Never Existed?

Episode 136 – Tuesday, March 7th, 2017 (7371)


There’s one loveteam in the Philippines where they made kilig moments and were loved by most Filipinos. AlDub is considered as one of the most famous and most popular loveteams because of their magic. After they were accidentally paired on one segment of the longest-running noontime show, they never thought they would become so popular, trended million tweets worldwide, and endorsed several advertisements in every aspects of media. This made many Filipinos to forget the situations happened in our nation and instead they’re having fun to discuss AlDub-related topics such as Kalyeserye (series on the streets). During most second half of 2015, almost whole nation were watching every afternoon because of AlDub, and the rest is history. Now, they have ongoing primetime TV series (teleserye for Philippine TV) that was begun last week, and as usual, the show has been trended every night as well as registered higher ratings (because of this, my family now watches two TVs separately, but I don’t even watch TV anymore because it’s so non-sense at all). Continue reading

What If… I Didn’t Fall In-Love with “Chubby”?

Episode 134 – Tuesday, February 28th, 2017 (7364)

Well, well, well… February is considered by many as the “love” month because of Valentine’s. Yeah, I know this is where most lovers out there are making kilig because of their sweetness. What? Some are buying flowers, chocolates, having romantic dates, and others… well you know. But before the month of February ends, I still remember, when I was in college, there’s one of my classmates who made me something “special”. I remember 10 years ago (Valentine’s of 2007) that I made a “twist” to choose one to be my Valentine. And I picked that girl who unexpectedly became my crush. However, in the end, our friendship was broken because of controversy that made me so mad. I don’t want to reveal her real name because of reputation, but I just called her “Chubby” because of her physical appearance (you know she’s too… oh just never mind).

I was wondering why I fell in-love to that girl who is too short and too chubby (that’s why I just called her “Chubby”). Was this because of her charm and being friendly? I don’t think so because she was just my college classmate back then. However, because of broken friendship that we had before, we are simple no longer as friends. That’s so sad. Oh well, that’s a reality. But I’m thinking what if… I didn’t fall in-love with her when we’re in college? Hmmm… Continue reading

Love Comeback (?)

Episode 132 – Tuesday, February 21st, 2017 (7357)


Throughout the year, I’ve witnessed the greatest comebacks in sports. In the world of basketball, there have been several comebacks when the team was down by huge deficits then came back to win the ballgame. Last NBA Finals, the Cleveland Cavaliers came back from 1-3 deficit to win an NBA title over the Golden State Warriors. It’s same thing with Chicago Cubs where they won last three games over the Cleveland Indians in the World Series. And lately, the New England Patriots managed to have an incredible comeback after they were trailed from 25 points to force overtime and to win their fifth Super Bowl title. In sports personalities, there were some superstars who came back to play again for their “unfinished business”. Michael Jordan came back to play again for Chicago Bulls in 1995 after his brief retirement where he shortly played for a minor baseball team. LeBron James, who was once called a “quitter” after he left Cleveland in 2010, was able to return his hometown team, the Cavaliers, after playing four seasons for Miami Heat. Continue reading

What If… I Have A Foreign Girlfriend?

Episode 131 – Thursday, February 16th, 2017 (7352)


Valentine’s is now over, but the “love” month is still not yet over. Ewww… I know most lovers out there are still fresh from getting sweetness last Valentine’s. Most of them are from their different backgrounds – religion (Catholic and non-Catholic), places (long distance), personalities (good and naughty), physical appearances (slim and chubby), and race (Filipino and foreign). And speaking of, there’s one episode on a weekly drama anthology where one Filipino guy fell in-love to a foreign girl who was a Korean. I didn’t know about their story because I didn’t watch this last Saturday due of a task for my service on the next day at The Feast. But I really notice that most Filipina ladies out there are trying to look for foreign guys thru social dating sites for their love. Yeah, I think it’s because they want to get rid from their poverty. Of course, we’re in third world country though. But I don’t know if there are some Filipino guys who have relationships to foreign ladies. I guess though, but there are only few of them who are luckily married to foreign women. Continue reading

What If… I Have A Deaf Girlfriend?

Episode 124 – Tuesday, January 24th, 2017 (7329)


In the past few days, I had not been so happy because of sickness that bothers me. I had flu, fever, and sometimes headaches that I was not so comfortable especially at work. I know it’s because a “cold season” that we’ve experienced right now due of northeast monsoon (or what we called locally as Amihan). And this airborne sickness can carry from one person to another that’s why I was affected this kind of “virus” because of my (jobless) elder brother who was ill a week ago. Thanks to the connection of our bedrooms that’s why I became ill because of him, and that’s why I used a half roll of tissues per day to sneeze my freaking running nose! Damned it! Hehehe!

Anyways, it has been 19 months that I’m still single and loveless, and I still don’t know what I shall do right now. It’s whether if I continue searching for “one true love” (OTL) as fast as possible or staying single and loveless. For most of the times, I sometimes have a panic to search for a nice lady to be my next dream girlfriend because… you know family matters. However, my love feelings may not be worked for some reasons anyway. And because the love month of February will come within few days as well as Valentine’s Day and since I’m still single anyway, I’m still looking for a nice and pretty girl to be my girlfriend. Continue reading