What If… LDR Still Exists Today?

Episode 231 – Sunday, July 1st, 2018 (7852)

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On June 25, 2015, I thought that day was just like any other. At the start of the day, I had my usual routine when I prepared for my work and travelled in a nice flow of traffic going to San Pedro. At the workplace, I was so comfortable to have no stressful jobs and strict bosses (because they’re in Macau during time). Even though my distant girlfriend didn’t text me for few days due of no cellphone load, I was confident that we’re still keeping in touch right after our anniversary date almost two weeks ago. After work, I got go home and ate my delicious dinner. In retrospect, that June 25, 2015, Thursday, was just an ordinary day for me. No one knew that it would be the last day of one of the happiest moments in my life. And I never thought that day would be the end of my colorful and happy love life after three cheerful years.

On that night, when I got home from work and after eating my lunch, I was so glad that she texted me for our usual distant communication as a girlfriend/boyfriend. However, later on, I had no idea what happened next. She informed me thru text messages that she was caught by his eldest brother after he saw our sweet pictures on her cellphone while we’re dating for our third anniversary few weeks ago. She also told me that her father already knew about our “secret” long distance relationship. I was so surprised when she said that she needed to break our relationship in order of her father. Actually, I accepted her decision as we ended our three-year LDR (despite of having met only 15 times). But the most painful thing that I ever heard was when she wanted me to forget her and to look for a lady more deserving than her. This made me so hurt, and she was crying during that time. After that, she thanked me for what I had done for her with happiness in the past three years. Then, I sent my final text message to her telling my final goodbye, and she replied it for the final time to thank me so much.

Three years later, I didn’t feel any sadness or regret on that heartbroken day three years ago. But I didn’t care because I was too busy enough at my new job despite of having an antagonist who’s too overacting so much. Like my career life which has been horrible right now, my love life is seemed to be empty from what I had three years ago while my two other colleagues, who, like me, are graphic artists, in my new job have their own girlfriends. Well, I don’t mind that they have own love while I have none. But, in this episode, I’m just wondering… what if my LDR with my distant textmate/girlfriend still exists today? What if our break-up on that night didn’t happen, and we’re still distant lovers? And what will this affect in my current situation?

Continue reading “What If… LDR Still Exists Today?”

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What If… I Didn’t Attend Love Life Retreat?

Episode 215 – Saturday, February 17th, 2018 (7718)

Love Life Retreat is a gathering of Singles Ministry of the Feast for the single people where they meet in acquaintance sharing their personal stories especially in relationships – family, friends, and someone that they love or had loved either current or past relationships. Last year, it was the fourth edition of the Singles Retreat of Feast SM Santa Rosa where I was the one of 30 something single (and pretend to be “single”) people attending the event becoming as the fourth batch of this event held every February (as we know the “love” month). It was a great experience for me to join the event because I faced, not only meeting with new friends, but also receiving more blessings and forgiveness with God’s love and healing.

Well, I might never regret that I’m already a part of Singles Ministry. And I know it because I’m still single (for 950++ days since Post-LDR Era) and unmarried (but when will I get married because I’m already within 30s???). Also, it was a great opportunity for me to join this event because I had never attended in the past three editions (since it was started in 2014 – my best year ever). But in this episode, my mind is starting to make possible scenarios around my life. And I’m thinking… what if I didn’t attend Love Life Retreat last year? Hmmm… can I tell that I would not meet new friends who were still single (and pretend to be “single”) in the event? Or would I not meet one of them who later became my crush? Oh well… I’ll explain why I joined the overnight retreat for the Singles last year. Continue reading “What If… I Didn’t Attend Love Life Retreat?”

What Will Happen If I’ll Become an Old Bachelor?

Episode 214 – Wednesday, February 14th, 2018 (7715)

Last December, when it was a holiday, I was able to go to St. Clare Monastery for my usual morning prayer. It had been a long time that I went there because of my new job which is a 6-day working week within about 24 miles from my home. After praying at St. Clare, I went across to other church, St. Polycarp Parish, for my short prayer before going home. Suddenly after I prayed, I saw the bulletin posted inside the church where there were lots of couples who would get married on that parish (I first thought that they were missing people, hehehe). I just observed them who were within late 20s or early 30s and were happy to love each other exciting for their upcoming marriage. Then, I got my first thought, “Buti pa sila, getting married na… eh ako kailan kaya? After 10 years?” (“I’m glad they’re getting married soon, but for me… when? After 10 years?”)

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These were couples that would be married in St. Polycarp Church in Cabuyao, Laguna last December

Oh well… I’m already within 30s but why still I’m not married? Look at some of my former classmates, either from so-called “Deaf World”/pre-2004 era or “Post-Deaf World”/post-2005 era, who are younger than me. They are already married and having their children. Some of them have their love relationships (girlfriend/boyfriend) and will soon get married. But while me… just never mind! Continue reading “What Will Happen If I’ll Become an Old Bachelor?”

My Possible Return to “Deaf World”

Episode 212 – Tuesday, February 6th, 2018 (7707)

While I am thinking to change my career totally from being a graphic artist into something new, I might decide to pursue one of my dreams to become a special education (SPED) teacher where I will teach students who have difficulties in speech and hearing (in other word, deaf). It is because I have knowledge in sign language since I studied in a deaf school back several years ago. However, I will need to go back school again to study education (for at least two years or so) and take a professional exam to become a certified teacher for special education. But I have another option to use my “hidden” talent for my profession – to become a sign language interpreter.

My 7 years working in graphics might not grow or fulfill my career life although I already have lots of working experience on that field. But I just want to change my working career totally because I’ve been so tired to have restless and harsh environment with skeptic boss, strict monitoring, being bullied by some co-workers, and too much plenty of overtimes (and overnights too) as a graphic artist/designer. Even though I like designing and creating layouts in graphics, my job might be the one of the most stressful because of its clients wanting to have perfect design and giving a short deadline to finish the design. I really regret why I chose the field in graphics as my profession rather than becoming a SPED teacher (although the former was somewhat related to my chosen college course as Information Technology or I.T. because I love to use computers). But if ever I chose educational course back in college, I would have become a teacher in my present life teaching special students who are deaf. Continue reading “My Possible Return to “Deaf World””

My Career Life Has Been Worsened (?)

Episode 210 – Wednesday, January 24th, 2018 (7694)

In the past 7 years since I graduated from college, I have worked hard to achieve my dreams for my family and also for my future. But what happened to my career life throughout 7 years? Hmmm… still no progress! While some of my former college classmates and friends have already enjoyed their better lives because of their good job such as promotions or level-up into higher position and better salary, my career life has been somewhat the same as what I first started to work back in late 2010, thanks to those who “ruined” my career. The worst times that I had happened just last year when I became jobless and having hard time finding a new job. Until last November, I finally got a new job in Pasay; however, things might be worse for me because of uncomfortable job position that I ever have right now.

I don’t know what I am explaining about, but why doesn’t my career life become successful so far? Has this been worsened because of those distractions in the past 7 years that bother my future goals? Well, I will discuss for this episode where my career life doesn’t grow into the fullest because of these situations. Continue reading “My Career Life Has Been Worsened (?)”

I Got Almost Passed for Acceleration!

Episode 199 – Thursday, November 30th, 2017 (7639)

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On November 30, 1997, I, together with my mother and my elder brother, went to Quiapo, Manila to take an exam for the acceleration where I would jump my grade level into the higher level. I was in Grade 3 together with my two deaf classmates, and if I would pass this exam, I would skip Grade 4 and instead I would study either Grade 5 or Grade 6 in the next school year. But unfortunately, I didn’t pass the exam which occurred for the whole day that I just remember I was so hungry after several hours of taking and answering the quizzes which made me a headache. My two deaf classmates passed the exam, and eventually they jumped to Grade 5 and Grade 6 in 1998 rather than studied in Grade 4 where, in my reality, I had been (as well as they were no longer my classmates).

Well, that was 20 years ago to be exact. And I don’t really have any photographic memory about taking an acceleration exam. I don’t remember who endorsed me to take it in which I would possibly jump as higher as Grade 6 instead of entering Grade 4 on the next school year. But I’m just thinking about this. What if I passed the acceleration exam? Would my school life change? Would I be graduated too early? And how about my old deaf classmates who remained with me in one classroom for years? Well, I will discuss the possible scenario if ever I accelerate into the highest level. Continue reading “I Got Almost Passed for Acceleration!”

What If… I’m 10 Years Younger in My Present Life?

Episode 195 – Tuesday, November 14th, 2017 (7623)

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It has been a long, long weekend for me and others who work in the Metro because of ASEAN summit. But it might be boring for me because of the distractions at home. And right now, I’m not feeling well because of changing weather (it was stormy just last Thursday night but then suddenly it became sunny in the next day) and working conditions at my new job in Pasay where there’s too much cold inside the workplace while it’s so hot outside the building.

In my current age, I think I really need to set up my own life because I’m already old enough to build for my adulthood. Within early 30s, I suppose to be married with someone and having children for one happy family. However, because I have many financial and family problems, I’m still stuck living with my parents who are within 70s and my elder siblings whom one of them, my elder brother, is 15 years older than me (making a huge age gap between us). My only relative who has the closest age differential is my niece at her age of 23 (turning 24 this December). But others… well they’re not included in the millennial generation (because they’re more than 40 in their age). Continue reading “What If… I’m 10 Years Younger in My Present Life?”