What If… I’m 10 Years Younger in My Present Life?

Episode 195 – Tuesday, November 14th, 2017 (7623)

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It has been a long, long weekend for me and others who work in the Metro because of ASEAN summit. But it might be boring for me because of the distractions at home. And right now, I’m not feeling well because of changing weather (it was stormy just last Thursday night but then suddenly it became sunny in the next day) and working conditions at my new job in Pasay where there’s too much cold inside the workplace while it’s so hot outside the building.

In my current age, I think I really need to set up my own life because I’m already old enough to build for my adulthood. Within early 30s, I suppose to be married with someone and having children for one happy family. However, because I have many financial and family problems, I’m still stuck living with my parents who are within 70s and my elder siblings whom one of them, my elder brother, is 15 years older than me (making a huge age gap between us). My only relative who has the closest age differential is my niece at her age of 23 (turning 24 this December). But others… well they’re not included in the millennial generation (because they’re more than 40 in their age). Continue reading

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What If… My Best Memories From 2014 Still Exist Today?

Episode 193 – Tuesday, October 31st, 2017 (7609)

2014 still exist in 2017

Finally, after months of boredom, having distractions at home, and of course, being jobless, I already found a new job. Even though it’s too far from home (about 25 miles away) and I will have only one day of rest because of 6-day working week, I really need a job that might be perfect for my career even there’s a quite pressure unlike in my former beloved job in San Pedro. Ayyy… to be honest, I still can’t move on from the best memories and things that I had while I was working in San Pedro for three wonderful years including the year 2014 – my best year ever. (And then… I’m starting to cry… but I’m just kidding.)

Because I will be busy enough for 6 days on my new job which is located in Pasay City, I’m pretty sure that I will have a minimal time to write my new episodes on My Tent Journal in the future (hopefully it will reach its 200th episode before the end of this year). I’m sure I can’t do my writing (or typing, rather) inside the workplace or else I’ll be caught down, hehehe! And because I don’t have internet connections at home (although I can browse internet thru 4G data on my phone but most of the times it has weak signal), I usually rent a computer on a high-speed and more compatible internet café near the entrance of the subdivision, and I hate using a computer in other rentals because of obsolete OS, not compatible browser, and has slow internet. I think I will do for my Journal once per week depending on the stories that I can give from my mind (and my memory, too). Continue reading

Why Can’t I Do a Vlog?

Episode 192 – Thursday, October 26th, 2017 (7604)

vlog

I guess I already have a new job, but I don’t feel that finally I’m no longer a jobless person. However, during 6-7 months of intervening from working career, I don’t have any income to increase my savings from the bank. Instead, I made spending my time to apply job openings anywhere in Laguna and in the Metro Manila (mostly southern parts), so that almost half of my savings were already spent from travel expenses, food (of course, I don’t want to be hungry while on a job interview or something), and printing lots of my resumes and portfolios as well. My savings were from my backpay after my beloved job in San Pedro was dissolved; however, almost half of them were paid to my monthly healthcare which has been temporarily stopped because I don’t really have any job at all. Continue reading

Remembering My Saturday Afternoons

Episode 190 – Saturday, October 21st, 2017 (7599)

happy_saturday1487988216

In my present situation, I no longer have better things that I once had before. It’s because I don’t have a stable job, love life, a happy and healthy family, freedom, and of course, happiness. Almost every day, I rent a computer in the internet café to apply jobs online. Almost thrice a week, I wash the clothes for our family. And almost every time, I help my father to throw his urinal (he can’t do it alone due of his disability after suffering mild stroke two years ago) and my sister to rise up from her bed due of her illness (she might lose her stable job because of this). And almost every day, I have done nothing but to wait for some miracles in my life and also in my family as well.

Within 7 days of week, Saturday is one of few times that I have something “happy”. It is the time for me to have enough rest from household tasks or my “free time” only for the short time in my present life. Yeah, this is my present time. But 3-5 years ago, Saturday was so special for me especially the times when I had a better job and wonderful love life.

Continue reading

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Episode 189 – Monday, October 16th, 2017 (7594)

It’s already in the middle of October, but as you know, I’m still in the darker times where struggles are present in my life. In the past 6-7 months, I still don’t have any stable job or income at all. Although I have enough saving on the bank (thanks to my backpay from my previous job), I’m afraid that anytime soon it might be gone away because of the expenses that I need such as travel going to the job interview, food for my lunch while job hunting, and renting a computer at the internet café to search job vacancies online. I also decided to hold my monthly healthcare that I had commit to pay since three years ago because I don’t have any income right now as I’m still jobless (this might ruin my future goals, thanks to my former college classmate who encouraged me to join for the financial literacy even though I don’t really have many friends to be on my downline). Continue reading

Insult

Episode 188 – Wednesday, October 4th, 2017 (7582)

I still remember when I was a young student at the Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD) many teachers and fellow students who were hard to spell my first name (by the way, my real name is just weird but unique). They couldn’t write my name because they said it was weird or foreign-like. They misspelled my name mostly. And also they couldn’t even pronounce it. I don’t understand why my family gave me a “weird” name when I was born. Why not usual names like John or Joseph or Matthew or… any Biblical names or whatsoever? Arghhh… But that’s already my real first name that I’ve used in my entire life. Tent Tertional is just my pen name or screen name, and I’m still using this for most of my writings, including this blog, for more than 20 years. Continue reading

From Crush to Enemy (?)

Episode 187 – Saturday, September 30th, 2017 (7578)

from crush to enemy

September almost ends, and I’m still jobless (and loveless)! Ayyy… but I’m just changing the topic. Before we’ll flip our calendars into October, this month is somewhat remembered as the “birth of my love life”. Really? I think so, but it has been 20 years since my love life was emerged into my life. Although all of the events about my love life during Deaf School Era (or Pre-2005 era) have been “erased” and no longer in my history books, my love life was started to grow 20 years ago when I had a crush… oh well, I don’t want to discuss this because it has been already “past” (my history has been rewritten). Technically, since 2005 (or Post-2005/Post-Deaf World Era), I had several pretty girls that became my crushes, either in school or in work. However, none of these became my girlfriend at all (except the one who was an unknown stranger that later became my textmate and my first-ever girlfriend). And the worst, some of them had some bad memories in my life which caused them into my “enemies”. What?

To be honest, some of my former crushes in post-2005 era are no longer my friends in the present because of complicated “past” (maybe there’s an episode that I wrote two years ago about regret that I had once considered them as part of my friendship.) It’s either they frustrated me in courtship (basted, I mean) or having bad memories that hurt my feelings. And coincidentally, all of them were born in the month of September or within the zodiac sign of Libra (which occurs between September 23 and October 23)! Oh my! In this episode, I just want to share about my former crushes turning into somewhat “enemies”. Continue reading

25 What Ifs That Might Change My Life Forever

Episode 186 – Wednesday, September 27th, 2017 (7575)

In my current situation, I feel unhappy because of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. Health problems in my family have affected my life at home because of my eldest sister suffering her illness. Distractions are always there especially at home because of my elder brother who has been jobless for three years where his bedroom is “shared” my bedroom thru one door and of my parents. And I have been exhausted in waiting for some miracles in my life because until now I still have no job (for 5-6 months) and no girlfriend (for 27 months) at all. That’s why my life has been so boring right now because of these freaking problems making my happiness ruined.

But there are things that I might be thinking of. These situations might not happen if I supposed to live in a comfortable and happy life and the distractions won’t come. What if… all these things that already happened in my life didn’t happen at all? What if… I might not be the same as what I have been right now? And what if… these good and wonderful things that I had before still exist until now?

Since I have been living in the City of Santa Rosa, Laguna for 25 years (actually just 24 and I’ll explain it later on), I just want to share about 25 what ifs that might change my entire life forever. These might alter my present life in the fullest. Few of these are already discussed in my past episodes in this blog, but I now explain more alternate scenarios that might not be the same as what I have right now. Continue reading

Bedspace, Better Solution for My (Temporary) Freedom?

Episode 184 – Monday, September 18th, 2017 (7566)

bedspace

It’s hard to find a right job. Well, it has been 4-5 months since I became jobless and have hard times to look for a better job. My life has been boring especially when I stay at home all the times with lots of distractions and problems because of the illness of my eldest sister who sometimes calls me to help her to stand from her bed. In the past few months, I have applied several companies for my desire (or maybe not) job as a graphic artist/designer. But no one accepts my application even though I have been back and forth to go there for exams and interviews conducted by them. And most of the times, even after I already took an exam or a job interview, they never call me back at all. I’m so pissed because, being an applicant, they’re wasting my time and my money for my travel expenses, for the food that I eat during lunch, and for my payment to rent a computer in the internet café and to print my resumes several times.

At one time, I have been thinking to apply for my job abroad (just to have my own freedom). However, despite of having a bigger salary, I might become homesick (or probably not) and having some difficulties to work abroad because of the environment (by the way, I’m not fluent to speak English though). For more details, read Episode 152 that I published last May. Continue reading

Was 2014 The New 1997 of My New Era?

Episode 181 – Sunday, September 3rd, 2017 (7551)

2014

The year 2017 might not be another good year for me as last year (2016) because of many bad, tragic and unexpected incidents that happened most especially in my working career, in my finances, in my love life (I’m still single for two long years) and my family as well. Even though there are still four months remaining before the year 2018, it’s not enough to be considered this year as my good year. I’m still within the darker and worse times right now unlike three years ago.

Yeah, three years ago, my life was way, way better and more wonderful because I had lots of blessings and abundance. I had a better, nicer job that there’s a real convenience. I had a lovable girlfriend despite of having long distance relationship. I had a happy and healthy family despite that some misunderstandings. And of course, I had a great commitment with God as I continued to attend and to serve at The Feast. These best things made me and my life so wonderful and colorful. But these were already gone three years ago (except for my attendance and my service at The Feast), I totally miss the year with reminiscence to remember my past around few years ago particularly the year 2014. Continue reading