Remembering My Saturday Afternoons

Episode 190 – Saturday, October 21st, 2017 (7599)

happy_saturday1487988216

In my present situation, I no longer have better things that I once had before. It’s because I don’t have a stable job, love life, a happy and healthy family, freedom, and of course, happiness. Almost every day, I rent a computer in the internet café to apply jobs online. Almost thrice a week, I wash the clothes for our family. And almost every time, I help my father to throw his urinal (he can’t do it alone due of his disability after suffering mild stroke two years ago) and my sister to rise up from her bed due of her illness (she might lose her stable job because of this). And almost every day, I have done nothing but to wait for some miracles in my life and also in my family as well.

Within 7 days of week, Saturday is one of few times that I have something “happy”. It is the time for me to have enough rest from household tasks or my “free time” only for the short time in my present life. Yeah, this is my present time. But 3-5 years ago, Saturday was so special for me especially the times when I had a better job and wonderful love life.

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Episode 189 – Monday, October 16th, 2017 (7594)

It’s already in the middle of October, but as you know, I’m still in the darker times where struggles are present in my life. In the past 6-7 months, I still don’t have any stable job or income at all. Although I have enough saving on the bank (thanks to my backpay from my previous job), I’m afraid that anytime soon it might be gone away because of the expenses that I need such as travel going to the job interview, food for my lunch while job hunting, and renting a computer at the internet café to search job vacancies online. I also decided to hold my monthly healthcare that I had commit to pay since three years ago because I don’t have any income right now as I’m still jobless (this might ruin my future goals, thanks to my former college classmate who encouraged me to join for the financial literacy even though I don’t really have many friends to be on my downline). Continue reading

From Crush to Enemy (?)

Episode 187 – Saturday, September 30th, 2017 (7578)

from crush to enemy

September almost ends, and I’m still jobless (and loveless)! Ayyy… but I’m just changing the topic. Before we’ll flip our calendars into October, this month is somewhat remembered as the “birth of my love life”. Really? I think so, but it has been 20 years since my love life was emerged into my life. Although all of the events about my love life during Deaf School Era (or Pre-2005 era) have been “erased” and no longer in my history books, my love life was started to grow 20 years ago when I had a crush… oh well, I don’t want to discuss this because it has been already “past” (my history has been rewritten). Technically, since 2005 (or Post-2005/Post-Deaf World Era), I had several pretty girls that became my crushes, either in school or in work. However, none of these became my girlfriend at all (except the one who was an unknown stranger that later became my textmate and my first-ever girlfriend). And the worst, some of them had some bad memories in my life which caused them into my “enemies”. What?

To be honest, some of my former crushes in post-2005 era are no longer my friends in the present because of complicated “past” (maybe there’s an episode that I wrote two years ago about regret that I had once considered them as part of my friendship.) It’s either they frustrated me in courtship (basted, I mean) or having bad memories that hurt my feelings. And coincidentally, all of them were born in the month of September or within the zodiac sign of Libra (which occurs between September 23 and October 23)! Oh my! In this episode, I just want to share about my former crushes turning into somewhat “enemies”. Continue reading

25 What Ifs That Might Change My Life Forever

Episode 186 – Wednesday, September 27th, 2017 (7575)

In my current situation, I feel unhappy because of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. Health problems in my family have affected my life at home because of my eldest sister suffering her illness. Distractions are always there especially at home because of my elder brother who has been jobless for three years where his bedroom is “shared” my bedroom thru one door and of my parents. And I have been exhausted in waiting for some miracles in my life because until now I still have no job (for 5-6 months) and no girlfriend (for 27 months) at all. That’s why my life has been so boring right now because of these freaking problems making my happiness ruined.

But there are things that I might be thinking of. These situations might not happen if I supposed to live in a comfortable and happy life and the distractions won’t come. What if… all these things that already happened in my life didn’t happen at all? What if… I might not be the same as what I have been right now? And what if… these good and wonderful things that I had before still exist until now?

Since I have been living in the City of Santa Rosa, Laguna for 25 years (actually just 24 and I’ll explain it later on), I just want to share about 25 what ifs that might change my entire life forever. These might alter my present life in the fullest. Few of these are already discussed in my past episodes in this blog, but I now explain more alternate scenarios that might not be the same as what I have right now. Continue reading

Was 2014 The New 1997 of My New Era?

Episode 181 – Sunday, September 3rd, 2017 (7551)

2014

The year 2017 might not be another good year for me as last year (2016) because of many bad, tragic and unexpected incidents that happened most especially in my working career, in my finances, in my love life (I’m still single for two long years) and my family as well. Even though there are still four months remaining before the year 2018, it’s not enough to be considered this year as my good year. I’m still within the darker and worse times right now unlike three years ago.

Yeah, three years ago, my life was way, way better and more wonderful because I had lots of blessings and abundance. I had a better, nicer job that there’s a real convenience. I had a lovable girlfriend despite of having long distance relationship. I had a happy and healthy family despite that some misunderstandings. And of course, I had a great commitment with God as I continued to attend and to serve at The Feast. These best things made me and my life so wonderful and colorful. But these were already gone three years ago (except for my attendance and my service at The Feast), I totally miss the year with reminiscence to remember my past around few years ago particularly the year 2014. Continue reading

Jobless But Grateful (That Was Four Years Ago)

Episode 180 – Friday, September 1st, 2017 (7549)

jobless 2013

Being jobless is one of the bad things happened in my life right now. It has been 4-5 months that I’m out of job. While I’m still searching for a new one, I spend my money to print a bunch of my resumes from the computer/internet shop that I rent and travel some places for the job interview and exam in which eventually I’m not qualified. And while I’m waiting for a job invitation on my phone, I’m so bored staying at home with lots of distractions especially none of my family members does have enough stable job or any source of income. That’s why I’m now in the darker times because of these struggles.

Four year ago, I was also jobless back then, but… it was quite different what I have right now. Continue reading

Is August An Unlucky Month For Me?

Episode 179 – Tuesday, August 29th, 2017 (7546)

august jinx

August is almost done, and the “Ber” months will be coming within few days. But before flipping our calendars into another new month, this August is not so good for me. Despite that this is my birth month (born on August 6th), it seems somewhat not so wonderful because of bad happenings occurred within this month.

While I’m still jobless for few months, I feel so desperate and bothered at home because of the distractions. My eldest sister is still ill where she can’t rise from her bed and stand up on her own. That’s why she (almost) always calls me to help her to stand up. Even though she still walks, she’s unable to work at her job due of her illness (by the way, she was the only one who had stable job until she became ill). Continue reading

Remembering All About Tent

Episode 178 – Sunday, August 20, 2017 (7537)

All About Tent logo

All About Tent was my premier journal during my college life from 2007 to 2009.

My TENT Journal is a personal blog that is published thru internet where I share about my everyday life and its surroundings that affect my life. That’s what I am doing right now, writing a story for one whole episode, posting to my blog, and then publish and share to everybody who wants to read my journal. I started the idea two years ago to publish my articles about my life thru the internet. And in the past two years, I can’t imagine I have published more than 175 episodes! It has been two years of thinking, writing (or rather typing on my beloved laptop), and publishing my blog every single week or so.

But it’s hard to imagine that my Journal is NOT my first “love” to write articles. Even though it’s my first time to write and to publish my stories thru internet, it’s just a successor of my old commentary journal when I was in college. Continue reading

I Want To Be On The Top Again

Episode 176 – Monday, August 14th, 2017 (7531)

I’m so bored, and I can’t make my own free and relaxing time at home because of many distractions. At one time, I found an old movie from my laptop that I got from my former mentor and friend from the Feast four years ago. I already watched this movie before, but I just want to replay a Christian movie entitled “Facing The Giants” (2006) where one man coaching American football team in high school had many struggles in his life especially for his struggling team. But when he was tired for his struggles, he found himself miserable and started reading Holy Bible. Thus, it was the beginning of unexpected blessings in his life. After having a losing streak, he shared God’s words to his football players and made them into motivation leading his team to win several games en route to the championship (his underdog team, called as the Eagles, upset the heavy-favored Giants a.k.a. “Superteam Monstars” that choked and blew 23-14 lead, hehehe). His old car was replaced into new ones. And his wife became pregnant after failing many times. While I was watching that movie, I felt a mix of tears and joy because he, who was struggling in the beginning, began his winning streak to achieve his triumph. Continue reading

Am I Left Behind?

Episode 175 – Thursday, August 10th, 2017 (7527)

Right now, my life is somewhat dark and dull, and it’s even darker than what I had last year where distractions and disasters came, not only emotionally (love), but financially. It’s because I’ve been facing so many struggles in my life and also in my family as well. While I’m still jobless for five long months (officially, not included my ill-fated job stint in Cabuyao) and loveless (no girlfriend) for two months, there are things and unexpected situations that came and distracted even worse. My elder brother has been jobless for three years, and my privacy and personal time in my “own” bedroom has been vanished because of him (his bedroom is connected to mine thru one entrance door). My father has been recovered from mild stroke two years ago, and he barely stands and walks because of his condition. However, there are some times that I get annoyed because of his orders that he can’t do especially throwing his urinal (he can’t go to the bathroom because he can’t walk further). My mother has also been suffered from some illness such as high blood pressure. And lately, my eldest sister has been suffered from an illness that weakens her body, and she barely stands and walks straight due of her condition. As the breadwinner of our family (she’s the only one who has stable job among us), she was hospitalized for almost one week, and the worst, she has been out of work for weeks because of her illness. Continue reading