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Episode 189 – Monday, October 16th, 2017 (7594)

It’s already in the middle of October, but as you know, I’m still in the darker times where struggles are present in my life. In the past 6-7 months, I still don’t have any stable job or income at all. Although I have enough saving on the bank (thanks to my backpay from my previous job), I’m afraid that anytime soon it might be gone away because of the expenses that I need such as travel going to the job interview, food for my lunch while job hunting, and renting a computer at the internet café to search job vacancies online. I also decided to hold my monthly healthcare that I had commit to pay since three years ago because I don’t have any income right now as I’m still jobless (this might ruin my future goals, thanks to my former college classmate who encouraged me to join for the financial literacy even though I don’t really have many friends to be on my downline). Continue reading

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25 What Ifs That Might Change My Life Forever

Episode 186 – Wednesday, September 27th, 2017 (7575)

In my current situation, I feel unhappy because of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. Health problems in my family have affected my life at home because of my eldest sister suffering her illness. Distractions are always there especially at home because of my elder brother who has been jobless for three years where his bedroom is “shared” my bedroom thru one door and of my parents. And I have been exhausted in waiting for some miracles in my life because until now I still have no job (for 5-6 months) and no girlfriend (for 27 months) at all. That’s why my life has been so boring right now because of these freaking problems making my happiness ruined.

But there are things that I might be thinking of. These situations might not happen if I supposed to live in a comfortable and happy life and the distractions won’t come. What if… all these things that already happened in my life didn’t happen at all? What if… I might not be the same as what I have been right now? And what if… these good and wonderful things that I had before still exist until now?

Since I have been living in the City of Santa Rosa, Laguna for 25 years (actually just 24 and I’ll explain it later on), I just want to share about 25 what ifs that might change my entire life forever. These might alter my present life in the fullest. Few of these are already discussed in my past episodes in this blog, but I now explain more alternate scenarios that might not be the same as what I have right now. Continue reading

Jobless But Grateful (That Was Four Years Ago)

Episode 180 – Friday, September 1st, 2017 (7549)

jobless 2013

Being jobless is one of the bad things happened in my life right now. It has been 4-5 months that I’m out of job. While I’m still searching for a new one, I spend my money to print a bunch of my resumes from the computer/internet shop that I rent and travel some places for the job interview and exam in which eventually I’m not qualified. And while I’m waiting for a job invitation on my phone, I’m so bored staying at home with lots of distractions especially none of my family members does have enough stable job or any source of income. That’s why I’m now in the darker times because of these struggles.

Four year ago, I was also jobless back then, but… it was quite different what I have right now. Continue reading

Is August An Unlucky Month For Me?

Episode 179 – Tuesday, August 29th, 2017 (7546)

august jinx

August is almost done, and the “Ber” months will be coming within few days. But before flipping our calendars into another new month, this August is not so good for me. Despite that this is my birth month (born on August 6th), it seems somewhat not so wonderful because of bad happenings occurred within this month.

While I’m still jobless for few months, I feel so desperate and bothered at home because of the distractions. My eldest sister is still ill where she can’t rise from her bed and stand up on her own. That’s why she (almost) always calls me to help her to stand up. Even though she still walks, she’s unable to work at her job due of her illness (by the way, she was the only one who had stable job until she became ill). Continue reading

Remembering All About Tent

Episode 178 – Sunday, August 20, 2017 (7537)

All About Tent logo

All About Tent was my premier journal during my college life from 2007 to 2009.

My TENT Journal is a personal blog that is published thru internet where I share about my everyday life and its surroundings that affect my life. That’s what I am doing right now, writing a story for one whole episode, posting to my blog, and then publish and share to everybody who wants to read my journal. I started the idea two years ago to publish my articles about my life thru the internet. And in the past two years, I can’t imagine I have published more than 175 episodes! It has been two years of thinking, writing (or rather typing on my beloved laptop), and publishing my blog every single week or so.

But it’s hard to imagine that my Journal is NOT my first “love” to write articles. Even though it’s my first time to write and to publish my stories thru internet, it’s just a successor of my old commentary journal when I was in college. Continue reading

Bullying

Episode 177 – Wednesday, August 16th, 2017 (7533)

Say-no-to-Bullying-1-e1425426427621-300x282

Last Sunday, I attended The Feast in SM City Santa Rosa to listen a new series called Taboo where it was discussed about abuse. There’s one type of abuse that somewhat I was so related, and that was a verbal and emotional abuse where somebody tells a victim any inappropriate words as an act of bullying. And yes, indeed, I was once a victim of this type of abuse.

Bullying is one of the bad things that I really hate. Even since I was a young kid, I was bullied, ironically, by my eldest siblings most especially my elder brother. Because I’m the youngest among them (with a huge age gap), they underestimated me as a “servant” (yung laging inuutusan). Sometimes, they “abused” me verbally and emotionally, so that I felt cried with anger after the confrontation. Even I already grew up, they still mistreated me like my elder brother who was teasing me as he called my name sounding like a goat. But well, that was my past. Right now, because I’m already in adulthood stage, they no longer mistreat me so badly. Continue reading

I Want To Be On The Top Again

Episode 176 – Monday, August 14th, 2017 (7531)

I’m so bored, and I can’t make my own free and relaxing time at home because of many distractions. At one time, I found an old movie from my laptop that I got from my former mentor and friend from the Feast four years ago. I already watched this movie before, but I just want to replay a Christian movie entitled “Facing The Giants” (2006) where one man coaching American football team in high school had many struggles in his life especially for his struggling team. But when he was tired for his struggles, he found himself miserable and started reading Holy Bible. Thus, it was the beginning of unexpected blessings in his life. After having a losing streak, he shared God’s words to his football players and made them into motivation leading his team to win several games en route to the championship (his underdog team, called as the Eagles, upset the heavy-favored Giants a.k.a. “Superteam Monstars” that choked and blew 23-14 lead, hehehe). His old car was replaced into new ones. And his wife became pregnant after failing many times. While I was watching that movie, I felt a mix of tears and joy because he, who was struggling in the beginning, began his winning streak to achieve his triumph. Continue reading

Am I Left Behind?

Episode 175 – Thursday, August 10th, 2017 (7527)

Right now, my life is somewhat dark and dull, and it’s even darker than what I had last year where distractions and disasters came, not only emotionally (love), but financially. It’s because I’ve been facing so many struggles in my life and also in my family as well. While I’m still jobless for five long months (officially, not included my ill-fated job stint in Cabuyao) and loveless (no girlfriend) for two months, there are things and unexpected situations that came and distracted even worse. My elder brother has been jobless for three years, and my privacy and personal time in my “own” bedroom has been vanished because of him (his bedroom is connected to mine thru one entrance door). My father has been recovered from mild stroke two years ago, and he barely stands and walks because of his condition. However, there are some times that I get annoyed because of his orders that he can’t do especially throwing his urinal (he can’t go to the bathroom because he can’t walk further). My mother has also been suffered from some illness such as high blood pressure. And lately, my eldest sister has been suffered from an illness that weakens her body, and she barely stands and walks straight due of her condition. As the breadwinner of our family (she’s the only one who has stable job among us), she was hospitalized for almost one week, and the worst, she has been out of work for weeks because of her illness. Continue reading

Saddest Birthday That I Ever Have (Really?)

Episode 174 – Sunday, August 6th, 2017 (7523)

unhappy birthday

Today is my birthday! But for me, it’s just a simple, ordinary day because I don’t make myself happy on my birthday due of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. For the first time since 2013, I celebrate my birthday while I’ve been out of work. Yeah, it’s my birthday, but I’m still jobless (and loveless) though. And it’s also the first time to celebrate my birthday in the darker times. It’s so dark, isn’t it?

Since Post-College/Working Career Era, this is my third birthday that I have no job. In 2010, right after my college graduation (but not mentioned my ill-fated, short-lived job stint with a deaf entrepreneur in Mandaluyong), I was still looking for my first ever job when I celebrated my birthday. It was my first birthday as I was no longer a student. I got my first job two months after. And in 2013, two months after I left from working a printing company in Mandaluyong (because of freaking workers who bullied me), I celebrated my birthday while I was searching for my new job which was granted in early 2014 – my best year ever. However, unlike in 2010 (and also in 2017), my birthday in 2013 was somewhat better despite of being jobless during that time. That was because I had a wonderful life back then. I enjoyed being solo in my bedroom while my elder brother was working abroad. I started to attend Feast (when it was held every Saturday evenings at Central Mall Biñan). And of course, I had a long distance relationship with my textmate/girlfriend. These were only my bright sides while I was out of work in 2013. Continue reading

Zero Love Life in 2017?

Episode 171 – Monday, July 24th, 2017 (7510)

zero love 2017

The month of July is almost over, but I’m still in the intervening times because I’m still jobless for months. And the worst scenario that I’ve faced right now is the distractions at home where I have experienced, not only boredom, also illness as well. Earlier this month, my eldest sister, who is the only one that has stable job, was hospitalized due of her illness. After releasing from the hospital, she’s still not okay at all. But another unexpected distraction came at home. The “virus” spread over our home starting with my jobless elder brother who became ill. He has suffered hard cough and fever, and almost every member of our family became ill. Because his bedroom is connected to my “own” bedroom thru the only one door, I also became ill with heavy dry cough and flu. Even though I’m searching for the new job and invited for job interview, I’m not feeling comfortable because I’m still sick. The “toxic” environment at home has been the worst while I’m out of work.

Anyway, despite of being sick, I’m able to look for my better job because I’m out of work for few months, and I desperately need to have a stable job because if ever I don’t have this, how will I survive most especially for my future life? And this includes my love life that until now I’m still single. My goodness! Continue reading