Why I Am Still Not Married Yet?

Episode 160 – Sunday, June 11th, 2017 (7467)

marriage but when

June is the month of many couples who are excited to be married. Marriage is the significance of entering a new family for the couples, especially the young ones. Still remember when I was young, my elder siblings and my niece or nephew had attended the wedding of one of our relatives or their friend as bridesmaid, grooms men or flower girl. However, despite of these, I have never attended any single wedding at the church almost in my whole life. The only occasion from my memory that I attended a wedding was when I was about 4 or 5 years old as flower boy (or something like that) with my partner who, incidentally, was my childhood playmate that up to this day she’s remained a “mystery”, and the wedding was held in non-Catholic chapel (I think it was Iglesia ni Cristo because of my relative’s religion). Up to this day, I have never attended any single wedding of my friends or relatives because they didn’t even invite me. Hehehe!

Two years ago, one of my former officemates in San Pedro invited me and my boss to attend the reception after he married with his long-time partner. Earlier this year, one of my Feast friends, who serve in Media Ministry, married with her long-time boyfriend that entered her marriage life. These newlywed couples are younger than me (within late 20s except for my former officemates who is already in mid-30s) while I am still single and unmarried! My God! I’m already 30, but still I have no girlfriend, fiancée, or even live-in partner! Damn! Continue reading

The Few, The Merrier

Episode 153 – Friday, May 19th, 2017 (7444)

bukowski-quotes-the-less-i-needed

We’ve seen many vehicles around the roads that make heavy traffic. We’ve seen many people in the metro which make us so crowded (overpopulated, I mean). We’ve spent many hours to work hard at the office or even at home. But oddly, we don’t have a lot of money to save and to spend. Here in my beloved country, there are only few millionaires, and there are some in the middle class (including me and my family even though sometimes we’re struggled for finances), but sadly most Filipinos are poor. Well, anyways, I’m not talking about money because I’m not encouraging any financial teachings or networking to become rich. This episode is all about not so many things that I want to share but is about the few. Yeah, I’m not sharing a lot of stories about my current life, but yet I just want this simpler. Continue reading

Working Abroad… Why Not?

Episode 152 – Monday, May 15th, 2017 (7440)

working abroad

It’s hard to find a right place where I can rent a computer in an internet café because it might contain computer virus when I insert my USB and obsolete operating system (OS) which is still using Windows XP (ewww…). There’s no internet connection at home, so that I need to rent for an internet to publish my new stories for my journal (blog). I use to publish only once every week instead of twice per week due of having losing my job last month. And while I’m still looking for a new career/job, I have a lot of free time to explore job openings around, mostly in the metro (well, I miss working in the metro because I had worked in the province for three years). Recently two weeks ago, I explored far places in the metro from my home in Laguna to look something that will be my “forever” in my working career (and in my love life, too). But most of the times, I just enjoyed my leisure to take back some places that had been once part of my “past” (not my past love) that had been part of my life (mostly from during the first years of “Post-Deaf World Era”). Last Tuesday, I visited a non-government organization in Ortigas that helped me to bring me in the United States to become an exchange student back in 2004. When I was there, I saw many new faces that were far different from the last time when I visited almost 12 years ago (although one of my former batch mates (who also became exchange student) was not present, and she’s now their head director, I think). And then last Friday, I went to Commonwealth, Quezon City to visit a government agency for persons with disabilities (even though I was scolded by one of my beloved coordinators after confessing about being jobless and my financial problem with my family). Continue reading

Jobless… Again

Episode 151 – Thursday, May 4th, 2017 (7429)

jobless1

Last week, there’s something that bothered on my mind because of many problems especially at home. I couldn’t concentrate my job because of these situation, and not only that, I was also bothered by some annoying acts (such as verbal bullying) from my officemates which made me unhappy in the working environment. I was just a new “employee” on that job, but I felt dissatisfied at all because of annoyance and the financial problem that I have in my family. Because of these, I blew my working time at Cabuyao after working for only 5 weeks – the shortest since 2010. Boom… I’m done.

It’s so messy in my mind because of financial problem in my family, over fatigue, job pressure, and dissatisfaction with my co-workers where my concentration at work had been lost. Over thinking was the main reason why I gave up my new job. Thanks to these annoying distractions! I was over thinking about my savings, my financial support to my family, and my free time. Honestly, my new job was supposed to be okay for me because it’s very near at home (biking distance), job tasks that made me easier, and cool environment while it’s hot, sizzling summer. But there were the times that I was not satisfied because of these problems. Continue reading

The Cycle: Best-Bad-Good-Worst

Episode 149 – Wednesday, April 26th, 2017 (7421)

Best-Bad-Good-Worst

Good day! Right now, I have to remember my past memories where there were lots of the best and most memorable moments happened to make me and my life wonderful and happy. Last episode, I wrote about my three best eras in the past 20 years in my life, and I really missed the best moments that I had in happiness, freedom, and in love life. But in exchange, my best memories turned out into bad incidents where distractions came unexpectedly into my life. Although I needed to move on from the best, my life has been just a mediocre with some good (not the best) memories; however, I didn’t enjoy because of one worst case scenario which almost ruined my life. But then suddenly, my worst incidents turned into the best, and the routine has been on and on. Continue reading

Mysteries… Unsolved

Episode 147 – Tuesday, April 18th, 2017 (7413)

mysteries unsolved

Last February, most of high school students from third and fourth year (or Grade 9 and 10, I guess) attended their Junior-Senior (JS) Prom where they wore formal dresses and danced with their partners (or crushes, too). In the United States, the JS Prom is held around early April where Alabama School for the Deaf, my host school that I attended during the exchange program 12 years ago, was recently held its promenade night. I still remember that I had no partner to walk on the stage, but I just really regretted it (because I refused to have a partner who was looked like a “tomboy” but in reality she was a pretty girl though). But by the very next school year when I was in fourth (senior) year high school in a non-deaf school (my first school year in Post-Deaf School Era), I attended JS Prom for my third and final time where I had a cute partner. Yeah, my partner was cute, pretty and young from third (junior) year where I escorted her together entering the prom place as part of cotillion. However, up to this date, I still don’t remember who that cute girl was (in fact, I gave a simple gift for her before the prom). I don’t know what the name of my partner in the prom was; I don’t know if she’s still alive (absolutely) or somewhat gone (?), and I don’t know if she’s still here around in my community or she’s already married and has children. Hmmm… She never became my friend or high school crush either, but I don’t understand why I never befriended her or asked her name during the time when we first met during the prom practice 11 years ago. I might ask some of my former high school (non-deaf) classmates about this, but I guess they don’t remember this because it has been already 11 years ago. That girl who was my partner at the prom will be forever a mystery in my entire life. Continue reading

Worry… I Hate Being Worried!!!

Episode 127 – Thursday, February 2nd, 2017 (7338)

stop-worrying

(Note: this episode contains my anger and displeasure, so I hope you’ll understand my bad feelings on my loved ones at home.)

Parents will always be parents! I don’t really understand why my mother always worries me every time when I go out of town, either solo or with friends, despite that I’m already in 30s! Like most recently last Friday, when I and my officemates arrived at Baguio after 6 hours of long travel, she warned me thru text message that I must not use any prostitutes in the area after I told her about our arrival in that city. That’s so ridiculous, wasn’t it? Probably, she had “trauma” on what happened to me accidentally two years ago (I don’t tell the main reason about it that involved with my officemates). I got pissed on what my mother’s advise because I’m no longer a kid to treat me like that! Because of that, my excitement after arriving at Baguio for the first time was temporarily halted. Damned it! Ang tandang-tanda ko na pero parang binababy pa rin ako ni nanay! Oh my gosh!!! Continue reading

What If… I Have A Deaf Girlfriend?

Episode 124 – Tuesday, January 24th, 2017 (7329)

what-if-deaf-gf

In the past few days, I had not been so happy because of sickness that bothers me. I had flu, fever, and sometimes headaches that I was not so comfortable especially at work. I know it’s because a “cold season” that we’ve experienced right now due of northeast monsoon (or what we called locally as Amihan). And this airborne sickness can carry from one person to another that’s why I was affected this kind of “virus” because of my (jobless) elder brother who was ill a week ago. Thanks to the connection of our bedrooms that’s why I became ill because of him, and that’s why I used a half roll of tissues per day to sneeze my freaking running nose! Damned it! Hehehe!

Anyways, it has been 19 months that I’m still single and loveless, and I still don’t know what I shall do right now. It’s whether if I continue searching for “one true love” (OTL) as fast as possible or staying single and loveless. For most of the times, I sometimes have a panic to search for a nice lady to be my next dream girlfriend because… you know family matters. However, my love feelings may not be worked for some reasons anyway. And because the love month of February will come within few days as well as Valentine’s Day and since I’m still single anyway, I’m still looking for a nice and pretty girl to be my girlfriend. Continue reading

My 20 Best in 20 Years (Part 2)

Episode 123 – Thursday, January 19th, 2017 (7324)

20-best-in-20-years

This episode is the continuation of my two-part story about my top 20 best and most memorable moments in the past 20 years (dating from January 1, 1997 up to December 31, 2016). If you missed the first part from number 20 to 11, you may click my previous episode right here. And now, for the second part, I’ll share to you about my best incidents from 10 to 1 which made me and my life colorful, wonderful, full of happiness, and full of love. There are the lists: Continue reading

5-10-15-20 (for 1st Half of 2017)

Episode 119 – Thursday, January 5th, 2017 (7310)

5-10-15-20-new

It’s already 2017, and I hope this will be my better and happier year to me because of the blessings and positivity things in my life. I still remember 20 years ago, when I was so young, my life was way, way better back then. 10 years later, in 2007, my life was quite better especially when I was now belonged to “non-deaf world”. Although there were some conflicts happened during that year, my college life was way better in 2007 because of the happiness with my close college classmates. And now, since it’s already 2017, I don’t think the number ‘7’ is lucky because of the happenings in the past years ended with 7 (1997 and 2007). But because I’m so optimistic, the year 2017 will be great as same as 10 or 20 years ago. I hope so.

Anyway, this is my second episode to be published in 2017, and I just want to share about my happenings in my life occurred 5, 10, 15 and 20 years ago. I decided to make this tradition twice every year (together with my SMS communication episode) as I’ll publish this on the first half (on January) and on the second half (around July) of the year to flashback the events that occurred in my life. And now, I’ll start to share my experience in the present (2017). Continue reading