Loss of Appetite

Episode 164 – Friday, June 23rd, 2017 (7479)

loss of appetite 01

In the past several weeks since I lost my job, my life became boring once again. I have no work, no girlfriend, encountered distractions at home, and every time when I’m going around after my job application, I just walk around the mall alone, unaccompanied, and lonely. And even I have my cellphone that I’ve done anything to get rid my boredom, still I feel so bored because nobody text or chat me on my phone. I feel there’s something missing in my life right now.

Since post-LDR era which it has been now two years already, my life is now so dull with mediocrity. I’m always thinking about my past life where it was way, way back better than what I have right now. I really miss the moment. But since I became single and loveless, I began to lose my appetite to do for my happiness. My happy days were gone. Continue reading

Why I Am Still Not Married Yet?

Episode 160 – Sunday, June 11th, 2017 (7467)

marriage but when

June is the month of many couples who are excited to be married. Marriage is the significance of entering a new family for the couples, especially the young ones. Still remember when I was young, my elder siblings and my niece or nephew had attended the wedding of one of our relatives or their friend as bridesmaid, grooms men or flower girl. However, despite of these, I have never attended any single wedding at the church almost in my whole life. The only occasion from my memory that I attended a wedding was when I was about 4 or 5 years old as flower boy (or something like that) with my partner who, incidentally, was my childhood playmate that up to this day she’s remained a “mystery”, and the wedding was held in non-Catholic chapel (I think it was Iglesia ni Cristo because of my relative’s religion). Up to this day, I have never attended any single wedding of my friends or relatives because they didn’t even invite me. Hehehe!

Two years ago, one of my former officemates in San Pedro invited me and my boss to attend the reception after he married with his long-time partner. Earlier this year, one of my Feast friends, who serve in Media Ministry, married with her long-time boyfriend that entered her marriage life. These newlywed couples are younger than me (within late 20s except for my former officemates who is already in mid-30s) while I am still single and unmarried! My God! I’m already 30, but still I have no girlfriend, fiancée, or even live-in partner! Damn! Continue reading

Remembering My Second Job

Episode 159 – Friday, June 9th, 2017 (7465)

eastgate-centre

This is Eastgate Centre in Mandaluyong where I worked there as a graphic designer at RR Donnelley for one year in 2012-13.

After my college graduation, I got my first ever job in Alabang where it started my career growth and made new friends. However, despite of my happiness with my work colleagues, I was unhappy at all because of mismanagement, project dissolution, and internal issues in the company located in Alabang, Muntinlupa. I tried to resign from there several times and to apply other companies, but I failed. It’s not until when I finally found one company in Mandaluyong that suited my career life.

RR Donnelley (RRD) is a business process outsourcing (BPO) company that provides print, business services and documents. Named after Richard Robert Donnelley in 1864, it was a Fortune 500 company with its headquarters in Chicago, United States, and this was the leading provider of printing business such as brochures, business cards, invitations, and even larger documents such as books. Some said that RRD was the “brother” of RH Donnelley who became Dex One, one of the projects where I worked there in Alabang. Continue reading

When I Was A Student…

Episode 157 – Thursday, June 1st, 2017 (7457)

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Millions of Filipino children will be back to school on the first day of classes which will be on this Monday, June 5. But I’m thinking that I really miss being a student attending classes at school when I was young.

For all kids and youths out there, tomorrow will be back to school once again. And many of the parents are so busy buying school materials for their children. Tomorrow will be the start of school year 2017-2018 where millions of young Filipinos will gather to enter their first day of classes in most public schools in our country. Most of them are so excited to see their old friends and classmates (as well as their crushes) again while the others are entering in school for their first time that mostly are nursery or kinder, and they usually cry after being left by their guardians in school. But some are the new ones after being transferred from their old school to another making them as new classmates.

I still remember when I was just a young student I felt I hated to be at school because I would rather like to play all the time at home. But in the years to come, when I grew up as a teenager, I realized that I needed to study hard to accomplish my dreams. Just before becoming a career man, although I’ve still no job as of now, I faced the tough challenges that I needed to overcome as a student such as exams, thesis, and projects to pass to the next level. These took many years to achieve the challenges from a young kid to a young man with full of knowledge. Continue reading

My (Not) First Job

Episode 156 – Tuesday, May 30th, 2017 (7455)

Travel-Agent-Cartoon

(Note: this may contain some harsh criticisms that I expressed so badly and some displeasures about the incident that I did before.)

It has been few weeks after I lost my job, and I feel so bored at home because I’m just idle for almost whole day and my house is so hot like an oven. I still remember when I had a new job in Cabuyao before I just stayed in the air-conditioned office to get rid the heat outside. But every time when I started my new day of work there, I got so sweated on my arrival because I took my bike going there from home. And not only that, I needed to find the keys covered with sticker tapes from the main office to unlock several padlocks in order to open the many doors/gates of the building. These caused my time consumed because I must do this in time before logging in on the timecard or else I would be late after opening these locked gates and doors of the office. Whew… At the time of work, I supposed to take my job so easily, but my officemates started to take some annoying jokes that I felt they verbally bullied me. I knew they’re just joking at me, but I didn’t like the way that they joked while I was busy working in front of the computer. This caused me pressure and filled almost anger because of what they did which hurt my feelings. Continue reading

More Mysteries… Unsolved

Episode 154 – Sunday, May 21st, 2017 (7446)

mysteries unsolved 002

I was so upset when one of my USB storages was broken after using for a long time. I didn’t understand what happened to my USB after inserting on my laptop many times without being recognized or read from the Windows system. Although I have some back-ups from this USB storage, I really regretted because it was the biggest USB capacity that I ever used which had the capacity of 16 gigabytes. For now, I have used only one USB left which is the smallest capacity storage of (less than) 4 gigabytes and is the oldest since I bought it around 2010. It has been used mostly to store the articles for my journal every time when I rent a computer in an internet café. I had three USBs before during the time when my life was so grateful. Since one of my USBs has been broken, I had another one USB which is black and has the storage capacity of 8 gigabytes that I gave to my former girlfriend for her college studies during our (long distance) relationship. But sadly I don’t know if she still keeps it, along with other items that I gave to her, after our break-up almost two years ago. This is still a “mystery” for me.

Anyways, last month, when I still had a new job, I discussed a topic about the mysteries throughout my life that they have still been unsolved. Things and events that involved my life have been remained mysteries such as having my former playmate, the controversial transfer of my former deaf enemy (she now rested in peace), and the unknown teenager who became my partner in JS Prom. But these are just the few that I had discussed last month. In this episode, there are more unsolved mysteries that were once happened throughout my life either from a school incident or at work. Continue reading

The Few, The Merrier

Episode 153 – Friday, May 19th, 2017 (7444)

bukowski-quotes-the-less-i-needed

We’ve seen many vehicles around the roads that make heavy traffic. We’ve seen many people in the metro which make us so crowded (overpopulated, I mean). We’ve spent many hours to work hard at the office or even at home. But oddly, we don’t have a lot of money to save and to spend. Here in my beloved country, there are only few millionaires, and there are some in the middle class (including me and my family even though sometimes we’re struggled for finances), but sadly most Filipinos are poor. Well, anyways, I’m not talking about money because I’m not encouraging any financial teachings or networking to become rich. This episode is all about not so many things that I want to share but is about the few. Yeah, I’m not sharing a lot of stories about my current life, but yet I just want this simpler. Continue reading

Working Abroad… Why Not?

Episode 152 – Monday, May 15th, 2017 (7440)

working abroad

It’s hard to find a right place where I can rent a computer in an internet café because it might contain computer virus when I insert my USB and obsolete operating system (OS) which is still using Windows XP (ewww…). There’s no internet connection at home, so that I need to rent for an internet to publish my new stories for my journal (blog). I use to publish only once every week instead of twice per week due of having losing my job last month. And while I’m still looking for a new career/job, I have a lot of free time to explore job openings around, mostly in the metro (well, I miss working in the metro because I had worked in the province for three years). Recently two weeks ago, I explored far places in the metro from my home in Laguna to look something that will be my “forever” in my working career (and in my love life, too). But most of the times, I just enjoyed my leisure to take back some places that had been once part of my “past” (not my past love) that had been part of my life (mostly from during the first years of “Post-Deaf World Era”). Last Tuesday, I visited a non-government organization in Ortigas that helped me to bring me in the United States to become an exchange student back in 2004. When I was there, I saw many new faces that were far different from the last time when I visited almost 12 years ago (although one of my former batch mates (who also became exchange student) was not present, and she’s now their head director, I think). And then last Friday, I went to Commonwealth, Quezon City to visit a government agency for persons with disabilities (even though I was scolded by one of my beloved coordinators after confessing about being jobless and my financial problem with my family). Continue reading

Jobless… Again

Episode 151 – Thursday, May 4th, 2017 (7429)

jobless1

Last week, there’s something that bothered on my mind because of many problems especially at home. I couldn’t concentrate my job because of these situation, and not only that, I was also bothered by some annoying acts (such as verbal bullying) from my officemates which made me unhappy in the working environment. I was just a new “employee” on that job, but I felt dissatisfied at all because of annoyance and the financial problem that I have in my family. Because of these, I blew my working time at Cabuyao after working for only 5 weeks – the shortest since 2010. Boom… I’m done.

It’s so messy in my mind because of financial problem in my family, over fatigue, job pressure, and dissatisfaction with my co-workers where my concentration at work had been lost. Over thinking was the main reason why I gave up my new job. Thanks to these annoying distractions! I was over thinking about my savings, my financial support to my family, and my free time. Honestly, my new job was supposed to be okay for me because it’s very near at home (biking distance), job tasks that made me easier, and cool environment while it’s hot, sizzling summer. But there were the times that I was not satisfied because of these problems. Continue reading

The Cycle: Best-Bad-Good-Worst

Episode 149 – Wednesday, April 26th, 2017 (7421)

Best-Bad-Good-Worst

Good day! Right now, I have to remember my past memories where there were lots of the best and most memorable moments happened to make me and my life wonderful and happy. Last episode, I wrote about my three best eras in the past 20 years in my life, and I really missed the best moments that I had in happiness, freedom, and in love life. But in exchange, my best memories turned out into bad incidents where distractions came unexpectedly into my life. Although I needed to move on from the best, my life has been just a mediocre with some good (not the best) memories; however, I didn’t enjoy because of one worst case scenario which almost ruined my life. But then suddenly, my worst incidents turned into the best, and the routine has been on and on. Continue reading