Episode 177 – Wednesday, August 16th, 2017 (7533)
Last Sunday, I attended The Feast in SM City Santa Rosa to listen a new series called Taboo where it was discussed about abuse. There’s one type of abuse that somewhat I was so related, and that was a verbal and emotional abuse where somebody tells a victim any inappropriate words as an act of bullying. And yes, indeed, I was once a victim of this type of abuse.
Bullying is one of the bad things that I really hate. Even since I was a young kid, I was bullied, ironically, by my eldest siblings most especially my elder brother. Because I’m the youngest among them (with a huge age gap), they underestimated me as a “servant” (yung laging inuutusan). Sometimes, they “abused” me verbally and emotionally, so that I felt cried with anger after the confrontation. Even I already grew up, they still mistreated me like my elder brother who was teasing me as he called my name sounding like a goat. But well, that was my past. Right now, because I’m already in adulthood stage, they no longer mistreat me so badly. Continue reading
Episode 176 – Monday, August 14th, 2017 (7531)
I’m so bored, and I can’t make my own free and relaxing time at home because of many distractions. At one time, I found an old movie from my laptop that I got from my former mentor and friend from the Feast four years ago. I already watched this movie before, but I just want to replay a Christian movie entitled “Facing The Giants” (2006) where one man coaching American football team in high school had many struggles in his life especially for his struggling team. But when he was tired for his struggles, he found himself miserable and started reading Holy Bible. Thus, it was the beginning of unexpected blessings in his life. After having a losing streak, he shared God’s words to his football players and made them into motivation leading his team to win several games en route to the championship (his underdog team, called as the Eagles, upset the heavy-favored Giants a.k.a. “Superteam Monstars” that choked and blew 23-14 lead, hehehe). His old car was replaced into new ones. And his wife became pregnant after failing many times. While I was watching that movie, I felt a mix of tears and joy because he, who was struggling in the beginning, began his winning streak to achieve his triumph. Continue reading
Episode 175 – Thursday, August 10th, 2017 (7527)
Right now, my life is somewhat dark and dull, and it’s even darker than what I had last year where distractions and disasters came, not only emotionally (love), but financially. It’s because I’ve been facing so many struggles in my life and also in my family as well. While I’m still jobless for five long months (officially, not included my ill-fated job stint in Cabuyao) and loveless (no girlfriend) for two months, there are things and unexpected situations that came and distracted even worse. My elder brother has been jobless for three years, and my privacy and personal time in my “own” bedroom has been vanished because of him (his bedroom is connected to mine thru one entrance door). My father has been recovered from mild stroke two years ago, and he barely stands and walks because of his condition. However, there are some times that I get annoyed because of his orders that he can’t do especially throwing his urinal (he can’t go to the bathroom because he can’t walk further). My mother has also been suffered from some illness such as high blood pressure. And lately, my eldest sister has been suffered from an illness that weakens her body, and she barely stands and walks straight due of her condition. As the breadwinner of our family (she’s the only one who has stable job among us), she was hospitalized for almost one week, and the worst, she has been out of work for weeks because of her illness. Continue reading
Episode 174 – Sunday, August 6th, 2017 (7523)
Today is my birthday! But for me, it’s just a simple, ordinary day because I don’t make myself happy on my birthday due of many struggles and problems that I’ve faced right now. For the first time since 2013, I celebrate my birthday while I’ve been out of work. Yeah, it’s my birthday, but I’m still jobless (and loveless) though. And it’s also the first time to celebrate my birthday in the darker times. It’s so dark, isn’t it?
Since Post-College/Working Career Era, this is my third birthday that I have no job. In 2010, right after my college graduation (but not mentioned my ill-fated, short-lived job stint with a deaf entrepreneur in Mandaluyong), I was still looking for my first ever job when I celebrated my birthday. It was my first birthday as I was no longer a student. I got my first job two months after. And in 2013, two months after I left from working a printing company in Mandaluyong (because of freaking workers who bullied me), I celebrated my birthday while I was searching for my new job which was granted in early 2014 – my best year ever. However, unlike in 2010 (and also in 2017), my birthday in 2013 was somewhat better despite of being jobless during that time. That was because I had a wonderful life back then. I enjoyed being solo in my bedroom while my elder brother was working abroad. I started to attend Feast (when it was held every Saturday evenings at Central Mall Biñan). And of course, I had a long distance relationship with my textmate/girlfriend. These were only my bright sides while I was out of work in 2013. Continue reading
Episode 173 – Monday, July 31st, 2017 (7517)
I have been out of work for almost five months, but I still don’t understand why I can’t find a right company that is suitable for me to work as a graphic artist/designer. I have already shown my impressive interviews, exam performance, and even my portfolios, but sadly I’m still not qualified to be one of the newest employees of the company. I don’t know their reasons, but I guess because of my background (I was studying in a deaf school) or of having some speech problems (although I now have a clear speech). And I think they might be impressed on my portfolios that fill with my artworks, but I don’t know why.
Being graphic artist/designer might be the one of the simplest but complicated jobs that I’ve ever done in my working career. When I was young, I loved creating drawings on my old notebooks. But I never learned a lot about graphics and multimedia when I was in college although I got some lessons from the Information Technology (I.T.) course that I took. Most of the lessons that I learned and studied from college were programming and creating a software system. But I never pursued these after college graduation. Instead, I went other field to become a graphic artist because that was one of my instincts when I was young as I loved drawings. When I had my first ever job, I immediately learned the techniques in graphic designing and software such as Adobe Creative Suites. And after years of work, I have lots of experiences about this field. Continue reading
Episode 172 – Friday, July 28th, 2017 (7514)
My gosh!!! It has been almost five months since I’m out of work!* And I have hard time to find the better job that I’m looking for. Searching as graphic artist/designer, I have applied several companies within Laguna or southern Metro Manila area to apply and have taken exams and a series of interviews from Human Resources (HR) or manager. But I failed to pass all the challenges that I took in the past three months. So, until now, I have been idle and getting so bored at home while I’m still waiting for “miracles” to accept my application. And in the worst scenario, as of now, no one in my family works for our daily expenses. My elder sister was the only one who had a stable job, but earlier this month, she suffered some illness that weakens her body and causes her into hospitalization for almost a week. Until now, she’s out of work for weeks to have enough rest and to take some therapy (but the worst is that she might bring into surgery on her back). This might have been the worst and the darkest times that I ever had in Post-Deaf World Era (or Post-2005/Post-U.S. life). 2017 might be worse and darker year for me than what I had last year! My goodness! Tsk… tsk…
Anyway, back to my jobless times. I’m so bored at home waiting for my pending applications that I already applied and took exam or interview in the past few weeks or so, but they didn’t respond back at all. Most of the companies that I applied for were from Alabang, Las Piñas, and Makati area. There’s one company in Ayala, Makati where some of their employees are my former workmates in Alabang. Last May, I applied there to take two examinations and two interviews with the HR and the manager. I had been back and forth in that place for four different days wasting my transport budget and my travel time for almost one and a half hour from home. However, it seemed that I wasn’t qualified for the company despite that I had been passed the exam. Continue reading
Episode 171 – Monday, July 24th, 2017 (7510)
The month of July is almost over, but I’m still in the intervening times because I’m still jobless for months. And the worst scenario that I’ve faced right now is the distractions at home where I have experienced, not only boredom, also illness as well. Earlier this month, my eldest sister, who is the only one that has stable job, was hospitalized due of her illness. After releasing from the hospital, she’s still not okay at all. But another unexpected distraction came at home. The “virus” spread over our home starting with my jobless elder brother who became ill. He has suffered hard cough and fever, and almost every member of our family became ill. Because his bedroom is connected to my “own” bedroom thru the only one door, I also became ill with heavy dry cough and flu. Even though I’m searching for the new job and invited for job interview, I’m not feeling comfortable because I’m still sick. The “toxic” environment at home has been the worst while I’m out of work.
Anyway, despite of being sick, I’m able to look for my better job because I’m out of work for few months, and I desperately need to have a stable job because if ever I don’t have this, how will I survive most especially for my future life? And this includes my love life that until now I’m still single. My goodness! Continue reading
Episode 166 – Friday, July 7th, 2017 (7493)
It’s already halfway through of 2017, but until now I’m still looking for happiness because of many struggles happened during the first half of this year. I thought this year would be my best and happiest year, but after all happiest moments happened during the first two months of 2017, what happened next? Evil distractions strike my current life again! Oh no! I became unhappy and bored because I lost a job, not once but twice, and my desire to text or to chat with somebody. Boredom has been there again after having (short-lived) happiness at the start of 2017. Gosh!
But anyway, last January, I published an episode about the things and events happened in my life 5, 10, 15 and 20 years ago. And now, it’s already July and entering the second half of 2017. I will discuss about the same with slight differences compared to what I had done during the first half. To clarify, all these events, including the technology and gadgets that I had, movies that released during that year, music, and hit TV series, happened within the second half in the past 5, 10, 15 and 20 years. Continue reading
Episode 165 – Sunday, June 25th, 2017 (7481)
How time flies! It has been two years where my life is filled with blessings and grateful moments. But in other side, it has also been two years that I became bored, depressed, and my life is filled with distractions, disasters, and restless struggles.
But I’m so glad for this moment because I have been writing my journal (this blog) for two years. I can’t believe that I already wrote more than 160 episodes in the past two years! I think I can compile all of my past episodes into a book (or probably about two or three books) about the happenings around my life and its surroundings. I still remember about my first ever episode published on June 24, 2015 where I shared about the relocation of the Feast of Bro. Andreus “Dreus” Cosio from Central Mall Biñan to SM City Santa Rosa and my trip to Bataan with my… well I’ll discuss it later! Hehehe! Continue reading
Episode 164 – Friday, June 23rd, 2017 (7479)
In the past several weeks since I lost my job, my life became boring once again. I have no work, no girlfriend, encountered distractions at home, and every time when I’m going around after my job application, I just walk around the mall alone, unaccompanied, and lonely. And even I have my cellphone that I’ve done anything to get rid my boredom, still I feel so bored because nobody text or chat me on my phone. I feel there’s something missing in my life right now.
Since post-LDR era which it has been now two years already, my life is now so dull with mediocrity. I’m always thinking about my past life where it was way, way back better than what I have right now. I really miss the moment. But since I became single and loveless, I began to lose my appetite to do for my happiness. My happy days were gone. Continue reading