My First Ever Crush During Summer

Episode 227 – Thursday, May 17h, 2018 (7807)

(I haven’t been writing my journal for weeks due of freaking hectic work schedule that makes me fatigue, having problems in my family particularly to my eldest sister who has been confined at the hospital for two weeks, and poor ventilation at home due of summer time.)

Kids out there are really enjoying their summer vacation while the school is now on break. But for those career people like me, there’s no summer vacation except there are some summer outings or gatherings provided by the company (however, I’ve never experienced to have a summer company outing with my officemates and provided by the company, except for 2016). It’s so unfortunate for me to not experience summer outing with my officemates because of heavy works that I have worked frequent overtimes (and probably an overnight). My work is now like “hell” without getting any rest, and that makes me fatigue, not just only in the workplace, but also in travel where I commute almost 25 miles away from home for 6 stressful days with traffic and inconvenience. That might be the worst summer time that I ever have at my work right now.

But back in my young, childhood days, summer vacation was so nice to me. I really enjoyed playing with my childhood neighbors and bonding with my family (during the time when they were still healthy). There was one time back 20 years ago when I met a pretty teenage girl who had a skill that I really used while I was at school. I just called her name, “Dana”, but until now, her real full name has been still a mystery for me (because there was no formal acquaintance between us).

She was around mid-teens (15 or 16) when I first met her while she was at summer vacation staying with her relatives who were my neighbors in our village in Santa Rosa, Laguna. While attending a summer basketball tournament several meters away from my home, she met me for the first time. And I was so surprised when she used sign language to communicate with me. I had no idea if she was informed by some of my neighbors about my background where I studied in a deaf school during the time (I was at “Deaf World” until 2005). But I just decided to use sign language as my “generous” conversation for her. During every basketball tournament in the morning, I frequently met her with her relatives to watch together, and sometimes we used sign language for our communication.


Because of her charm as a pretty teenage girl (of the late 90s), I started to amaze her as I had something to have a crush on her. At one time, I used a bicycle to chase her with her friends, relatives and neighbors who were also biking around the village, and I just spied them on what they’re doing. However, I was caught after they spotted me at one street, and I supposed to turn left when I accidentally bumped one unknown biker just few meters away from my home. After the minor incident, “Dana” saw me and smiled at me when I returned home despite of some embarrassment. However just few days later, at the night of May 15, I was really unaware that someone came to the gate of my house looking for me, and I found out that “Dana” came in front of my house with her relatives – one of them named “Philip” who was totally deaf and knew using sign language. I felt stunned and forgot to wear my slippers when I came out from my home to meet them particularly “Philip”. We communicated using sign language which was my first time to do at home, and our conversation lasted about 15 minutes before they returned back home. I was so surprised that “Dana” had a relative who was deaf that’s why she knew sign language.

Days before the summer vacation ended, I never spotted her again in my neighborhood. And she might return to her family (I don’t know her originated place, but she was a student during that time). However, in Christmas vacation of 1998, I again saw her around in my neighborhood (that was during the time when the “deaf invasion” came to exist which caused my life with my neighbors ruined). I didn’t meet her until New Year’s Eve when I visited one of my neighbors for the preparation of changing a new year. I met “Dana” again in a nice looking, and this time I started to have something feelings on her when I confessed her that I had something crush on her. Suddenly, she reminded me that she already had a boyfriend (at her young age, but she already had a BF? WTF!). Instead she offered me that we were still friends despite that I had first “failure” in love. Despite of this, we still celebrated New Year’s Eve with our childhood neighbors; however, this was the final meeting between me and “Dana”.

In summer of 1999, she returned back to stay for her summer vacation with her relatives in my neighborhood, but I couldn’t even meet her due of security reason where the family of my former deaf classmate were also there just few meters away from “Dana’s” relatives. I only spotted “Dana” thru climbing on the walls when she went outside. But unfortunately, I never met her even one time during that summer (which was one of the worst for me because of freaking “deaf invasion”). A year later, when I was about to ride a tricycle going to my school, I didn’t notice that she was also riding in the same tricycle as I was, and we’re sitting each other on the backside. Unfortunately, she didn’t notice me due of darkness in the early morning, and since then I have never seen her again.


Up to this date, I never know what her real name is, which remains a mystery though and where she is now, also a mystery. And I really don’t have any idea why she was there in my neighborhood 20 years ago. I know she was on summer vacation with her relatives, but why? I really know that she had a relative (or whatever) who was deaf, so that she learned sign language, but when she met me, she communicated me using sign language because she might know that I was studying in a deaf school. And I don’t really understand why I had some feelings on her in my young age. Was it because of her charm? I don’t think so.

I guess right now “Dana” is now already in her mid-30s, enjoying a married life, and having some children. I really don’t know where she is now, but I hope she’s fine. And I really don’t know if she still remembers me as a friend (and neighbor as well). Well, that’s my “throwback” story during my life in summer.

Have a nice day and God bless!


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