Episode 172 – Friday, July 28th, 2017 (7514)
My gosh!!! It has been almost five months since I’m out of work!* And I have hard time to find the better job that I’m looking for. Searching as graphic artist/designer, I have applied several companies within Laguna or southern Metro Manila area to apply and have taken exams and a series of interviews from Human Resources (HR) or manager. But I failed to pass all the challenges that I took in the past three months. So, until now, I have been idle and getting so bored at home while I’m still waiting for “miracles” to accept my application. And in the worst scenario, as of now, no one in my family works for our daily expenses. My elder sister was the only one who had a stable job, but earlier this month, she suffered some illness that weakens her body and causes her into hospitalization for almost a week. Until now, she’s out of work for weeks to have enough rest and to take some therapy (but the worst is that she might bring into surgery on her back). This might have been the worst and the darkest times that I ever had in Post-Deaf World Era (or Post-2005/Post-U.S. life). 2017 might be worse and darker year for me than what I had last year! My goodness! Tsk… tsk…
Anyway, back to my jobless times. I’m so bored at home waiting for my pending applications that I already applied and took exam or interview in the past few weeks or so, but they didn’t respond back at all. Most of the companies that I applied for were from Alabang, Las Piñas, and Makati area. There’s one company in Ayala, Makati where some of their employees are my former workmates in Alabang. Last May, I applied there to take two examinations and two interviews with the HR and the manager. I had been back and forth in that place for four different days wasting my transport budget and my travel time for almost one and a half hour from home. However, it seemed that I wasn’t qualified for the company despite that I had been passed the exam.
The company that I applied in Makati was seemed that there’s a “pressure” as what I observed. When the manager asked me about the working schedule if it’s okay for me to work night shifts, weekends and holidays, I was willing to do, but the good thing was that I didn’t pursue to work there. And its office is too far away from home where I would need to commute passenger bus from Laguna going to Makati with stress and stuck with traffic. It would be like what I had done when I was working in Mandaluyong 4-5 years ago where sometimes I came late because of heavy traffic at EDSA and long travel from Laguna. Also, there might be a strict observation on what I might be doing at the workplace such as designing, committing errors, quotas, and time pressure. There’s a chance that I will face strict rules and regulations in the workplace – around 82%, according to my own projection. If ever I would work there in Makati, I rather like to rent a small room or a bedspace nearby rather than commuting far place from home, and this would be my new “exile country” because I don’t want to stay at home with lots of distractions especially when I sleep during daytime after working in a night shift. But fortunately, it didn’t happen after I failed to qualify the final interview.
Another, I tried to apply one of the graphic companies in Alabang that I was once belonged. Yeah, this is the same company where I worked there in 2010 and stayed for one and a half years. But few years ago, the company changed its name, and its office is now located in Northgate, just few meters from its old office in Alabang. Last May, I went there trying to have an opportunity, but the position that I applied for wasn’t available. But a month later (June 23), I tried to apply there once again after I saw some of my former colleagues posting the urgent hiring for graphic artist position on Facebook. But I thought there’s a quite mistake for me because I applied for web designer instead of graphic artist position. And the result… was failed. I don’t mind that, at least, I tried to apply other positions even I have been out of knowledge about CSS codes. I need to wait for one month to apply the company again (hoping that there’s still a job opening).
When I was there recently last June, I met some of my old friends again who are still working in the company that I left in 2012. They’re still pretty much the same as what I observed five years ago. I felt they’re now happy working in the “new” company. But for me, although I was much happier after I left there five years ago and later worked in San Pedro especially in 2014 – my best year ever (because of happy [long distance] love life), I became unhappy right now after losing my job (and my love life, too). However, despite that the company is quite near from home (about 17 miles apart), it seemed that there’s also a “pressure” in the workplace which is quite similar to the situation that I had back when I was working there 5-6 years ago.
Night shift schedule, of course, is always there. The last time that I worked in a night shift schedule was way back in May 2013 (in the eve of mid-term election). There’s a possibility that I will work in a night shift schedule for the first time in four years (about 90% of chance, according to my own projection). It’s okay for me to work in the nighttime again, but there’s a problem for me especially at home. If ever I will work in a company (most especially in outsourcing) that has night shift schedule where I might be placed, I might not be comfortable to have a nice sleep at home during daytime because of distractions. The distractions that I have been at home are my jobless elder brother who always enters back and forth thru my bedroom going to his own bedroom, and my eldest sister and my mother making some noise talking about the numbers in an “illegal” lotto-type game (in other word, jueteng). I could rent a small, affordable room or a bedspace near in the workplace, but I’ll be worried about the expected salary that I might accept to work there.
And one more thing, however, bullying might be (but probably be always) present in the workplace. It’s either physical or verbal because I’m just a silent and introvert person. When I worked in Alabang, Mandaluyong and even in my ill-fated, short-lived job in Cabuyao, I was bullied by some freak and playful officemates, and even unfriendly female workers verbally bullied me for telling something bad and with some “warnings” that they thought I had something wrong at work. I felt I was out of respect to them after they bullied me so badly. Because I was too (case) sensitive and easily hurting my feelings (moody), I immediately left from the company whose some people bullied me. I couldn’t report and explain to the boss about my real reason of being bullied because I knew those who bullied me might be offended and creating more bullying act towards me (probably I might be the main reason why they’re suspended by the boss or terminated from the company). If ever I find a new job, I must avoid some freak workers who intend to bully someone (I really hope that they will not).
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If ever I apply and pass the examination and interview from the company for my new job, I will be back in the “stressful” working environment where I will work confusing schedules (night shifts, overtimes, weekends and holidays), cooperate with strict managers, follow the strict rules and regulations at the workplace (no gadgets, no access or exploring any websites on the internet, no late comers), rushing deadlines, some freak officemates that might bully me, and lots more. These will be the “hell” for my next job anytime soon as it will return for my working career after the last time that I had in Mandaluyong back in June 2013.
You know what… I really, really miss my beloved job in San Pedro where I worked there for three years – the longest ever in my working career and is longer than my entire job tenures in other four companies that I had worked combined (and even longer than my past love life). When I was there, my life at work became better and happier because of freedom, less-stress, no pressure, no strict implementations, and no strict bosses. And we were just four of us working in one small office. The few, the merrier. And I could stay at the office alone and anytime for my own “freedom” away from the distractions at home. The less, the better. That’s why the office became my “exile country” for three wonderful years. However, all of these were gone after dissolving (not resigning as what they thought) my job last March. These will never be the same again for my next job anytime soon.
I’m still jobless (and loveless, too) that I probably might have a panic in my life right now because I’ll be out of the “calendar” in the next few years due of my old (but looking young) age. If ever I will do nothing, my future life will be devastated forever! But I still keep praying to have a saving grace for my life from misery into happiness, little by little, step by step. But first, I just want to “reset” my life going back to zero thru finding a better job that I really need to have.
(*My latest previous job in Cabuyao where I worked there for only a month and left last April 2017 was considered as unofficial due of short-lived tenure. I have been out of work for three months, but the last time that I had a job officially was on March in San Pedro where I worked there for three years. Technically, I’ve been idle and jobless for almost five months since dissolving my beloved job in San Pedro.)