Episode 155 – Sunday, May 28th, 2017 (7453)
Before the summer season ends (although it’s almost rainy season), there was a summer outing for the servants of Feast SM Sta. Rosa (SMSR), led by Bro. Dreus Cosio. It was announced during the second week of May and posted on Facebook. When I read about this, I was so excited about it because, for the rarest time, there would be summer gathering from Feast SMSR (I don’t know if this would be the first time or there were summer outings in the past). For me, this was my first time since last year to have a summer gathering with my friends, and it was also the first from a non-corporate organization (a company where I worked or affiliated). Also, since my college graduation back in 2010, it was my only fifth time to join a swimming outing with them after 2010 – with my former college classmates, 2012 – with my work colleagues from Alabang, 2014 – with my friends from HOT Team, and 2016 – with my officemates from San Pedro. (Note: except for last year, all of these happened in overnight swimming although in 2014 we stayed in a hotel overnight before some of us swam on the next morning.) I know most of my former college classmates, friends and former work colleagues have been summer outing every year provided by some companies where they’ve worked there. But for me, I never have experienced any summer outing provided by a company throughout my career life (in 2016, I and my work colleagues had our “company” summer outing, but our company didn’t provide the outing because it was just only small, employed only four people, including myself).
However, last Friday, I felt I was so alone when I left home to gather around Alabang (I supposed to look for a bedspacer around Cubao, Quezon City or Marikina area when I just decided to have a cool off). Feeling that no one wanted to talk with me either thru personal or text/chat (even if I was the first to have a chat, no one replied me at all), I expressed my displeasure on Facebook that I needed to have a “Light Group” (LG) to a (true) friend who would be not busy at all, snobbish, or having some reasons that he/she can’t hold our meeting. I wanted to have someone to talk with me because I was so lonely if I was just alone. You know I’m such an emotional person because I’m too (case) sensitive, so that I easily change my mood. I thought being moody had been done when I brought it to the outing last Saturday.
Still moody and being alone again (again!)
I arrived at the parking area of SM City Santa Rosa exactly when the service bus came to pick up the servants from Feast SMSR. However, some of my “beloved” Feast friends had already their seatmates, and some were not present. Although I just greeted them, I just decided to sit in an empty seat without any companion or seatmate. That’s why I started to have some bad emotions when I posted my displeasure on my Facebook:
While we’re waiting for someone and most teens from Youth were playing and making their noise, I felt sad and alone because I had nobody to talk but to hear the worship songs (later I changed into 90s music songs) and to play some games on my phone. The service bus was supposed to leave around 6:30 in the morning when some of friends from Youth Ministry were coming late, so that we left from SM City Sta. Rosa around 7:30 going to Calamba, Laguna (about 23 kilometers or 14 miles from the our origin place).
We arrived at Graceland in Pansol, Calamba around 8:30 in the morning after experiencing heavy traffic from downtown Calamba area. When I was about to get off from the service bus, someone called my name (literally I heard it despite that I had earphones on my both ears), but I just ignored (snubbed???) her for something reason (truly because I felt uncomfortable that I needed to rush to the comfort room). Then, the program was started and led by Bro. Dreus Cosio with our opening prayer and some exercises. I just held my phone to play MP3 songs on my earphone, so that I heard nobody and just ignored them. Minutes later, the activity called “The Amazing Race” (or whatever that title) begun to play when most of friends from Youth Ministry formed their own group together with one from Singles. Even though most of my friends from Singles insisted me to join the, I literally refused to join because I felt not so okay in the situation that I had earlier and being out of place where most participants were from Youth. But instead of joining with the group, I was assigned by Sister Saydz on one of the six stations.
After eating our buffet lunch, it was the time to have our swimming in a large pool where the water was too warm due of the heat from the sun. I was there at the pool for some long minutes where I played volleyball with some of my Feast friends. However, after that, I just decided to leave from the swimming pool and took a fresh shower. Suddenly, right after I changed my clothes, the rain came heavily where most of them were really enjoyed on the pool. But I still decided to leave from the resort with Sister Saydz after eating some snacks. I didn’t tell to most of my friends who were busy at the pool that I was leaving too early and didn’t finish the whole day of summer outing. I accompanied with Sister Saydz and her Feast friend (I forgot her name) going to the highway after the heavy raindrops suddenly weakened.
The outing organized by Feast SMSR was quite nice, but I didn’t expect that I was not so much happy because of what happened on the morning when I started to be moody because I was sitting alone, unaccompanied, nothing to talk while traveled on the service bus (although I had companion with a guy from Youth, but I didn’t talk). I had almost a “snobbish” moment to some of my friends including the one who had our frequent chat conversation before. Let’s go back to last Friday’s situation where I was in doubt whether I would go to the outing or not. If ever I decided to not go with them, I just stayed at home writing for my Journal or taking my relaxation despite of distractions at home. So, it might be better for me if ever I just stayed whole day at home last Saturday rather than going to the outing without talking with somebody because they were busy to other friends rather than me which caused me into loneliness and irritable.
Oh well, I’m just too emotional because I really want to express my feelings for this episode. Despite that I was too touchy (tampo) last Saturday, I really want to thank Feast SMSR Family for the summer outing happened last Saturday where I and other Feast servants were so blessed to have our relaxation and fun.