Episode 151 – Thursday, May 4th, 2017 (7429)
Last week, there’s something that bothered on my mind because of many problems especially at home. I couldn’t concentrate my job because of these situation, and not only that, I was also bothered by some annoying acts (such as verbal bullying) from my officemates which made me unhappy in the working environment. I was just a new “employee” on that job, but I felt dissatisfied at all because of annoyance and the financial problem that I have in my family. Because of these, I blew my working time at Cabuyao after working for only 5 weeks – the shortest since 2010. Boom… I’m done.
It’s so messy in my mind because of financial problem in my family, over fatigue, job pressure, and dissatisfaction with my co-workers where my concentration at work had been lost. Over thinking was the main reason why I gave up my new job. Thanks to these annoying distractions! I was over thinking about my savings, my financial support to my family, and my free time. Honestly, my new job was supposed to be okay for me because it’s very near at home (biking distance), job tasks that made me easier, and cool environment while it’s hot, sizzling summer. But there were the times that I was not satisfied because of these problems.
Although there were some idle times, I felt the pressure where I needed to finish my task and to bring to a large printing press for tarpaulin. Sometimes, I had been back and forth from the office, where I had been so cold from the air conditioner turning on to my back, going to the faculty under the heat where I smelt the awful ink odor from the large printer. It might be probably because I had lack of communication with my co-workers which made us misunderstandings one another. Especially when we needed to finish for a rush deadline, sometimes we made some mistakes and point-fingered who would take the responsibility.
Another thing was my co-workers where they made some jokes that felt these might be serious. Verbal bullying was an example why I felt unhappy with them. They blamed and shouted me although they knew it was a joke, but it hurt my feelings most especially during the time when I was over thinking due of the problems with my family financially. I was just a silent person that’s why I couldn’t open up with them about my personal problems. At one time, I had almost a “walk-out” after they teased me about something, such as they jokingly reported to our boss about my “wrongdoings” even though I didn’t anything wrong while I was working, which bothered my feelings.
Lack of salary was the big problem for me. My salary from working in Cabuyao was far less than my former job in San Pedro. It was supposed to be okay for me to save enough, but because of my obligation to pay monthly for my healthcare (thanks to my old friends who encouraged me this back three years ago), my remaining salary was not really enough to give my financial support to my family especially to my mother. At one time, when I gave her an enough amount from my salary, she demanded me to increase it because of the maintenance for her health and for my father. I tried to explain her why I gave her only enough cash because of my monthly healthcare which she negatively thought it was “scam”. And after, my remaining salary was already too little enough to spend my own needs especially attending at The Feast every Sunday. Because of these, I began to think so deeply which made me to be over thinking about the savings that I worked for 8 hours, 6 days of working week, but not really enough salary (since I was only new in that company). These 6 days of working week were so restless for me (I had no “day-off” during Sundays because of my attendance and service at the Feast) that I became over fatigue. My mother’s demanding for finances was one of the main reasons why I became stressful at work which led me to give up my short-lived job in Cabuyao.
Problems in my family are really the big distractions that bother my life, not only financially, but emotionally. That’s very crucial because I was the one, along with my eldest sister, to have a stable job with enough salary. My parents are already old while my other elder siblings have their own families, and roughly, my elder brother has been jobless for three years (which made my privacy and “freedom” in my own bedroom vanished). It’s really a pressure for me to work hard for my family which might bother my future life because of them (look at my elder sister, she’s never married because of her obligation with my family since she’s breadwinner which indicates her into an unhappy life).
Because of these which bothered my mind and made me unhappy, on April 27, I talked my boss and decided that I would be no longer to work on his company that I had been working for only 5 weeks (27 working days to be exact). On my sudden final working day, some of my co-workers asked me the main reason why I would leave unexpectedly, but I remained silent for the rest of the day (except I talked them for important job tasks). They wanted me to have free snacks for them after giving my final salary, but I decided to not give any matters. May problema na nga ako eh, gusto pako i-libre sila? Aba, magaling! After leaving from the office, I felt disappointed as I made my decision to “blow” my working career in Cabuyao which was supposed to be my job replacement from my old beloved job in San Pedro which was dissolved two months ago.
Well, back to be jobseeker again. I feel my current life is just the same as what I had in 2010 where I gave up my [not] first job then I had hard times to find a new job after graduating from college plus I had no girlfriend back then. But it’s just the same again because right now I’m not only jobless but loveless. Ayyy… what shall I do in the next following months of 2017? Will my life be raised from the problems that I have or will it be even worse? Let’s find out soon, and please pray for me, my career life, and my finances, as well.
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No More “Exile Country”
A day after leaving my short-live job in Cabuyao, I decided to stay at my old beloved office in San Pedro to refresh my mind and also to seek for new opportunity. However, I never thought that this would be my last visit in the office that I had worked there for three wonderful years. My former boss told me that his materials (PCs, tables, boxes of past issues of magazines, etc.) would be removed and transferred to his storage somewhere in Makati. This was due to give our final back pay as soon as his office would be empty. I hope we’ll be given our final salary after dissolving our job last March.
But because of this, “exile country” is now no longer existed. It has been already in my past memories. I wanna miss to stay there anytime, to access free live streaming to watch NBA, NFL, MLB games live, and to have my own privacy and freedom away from home. Oh no! Saan nako tatambay pag may distractions sa bahay?!!! It’s really sad for me that I’ll have no more freedom and privacy of my own. It’s over, and this is the end of having “exile country” in my life. I hope, in the future, I will find a new “exile country” for me to have freedom and peaceful environment from the distractions and noisiness at home.