Episode 128 – Tuesday, February 7th, 2017 (7343)
I don’t feel that Valentine’s is now near. It has been one week away before those lovers out there will celebrate their love, love, love. The month of February is about love, “Feb-ibig”, kilig, and lots of hearts spread around the corner. While those who have sweethearts, girlfriends/boyfriends, or spouses are sweetly in-love each other, how about single people like me? I don’t know some of single people are bitter (I don’t think so), and they call February as their “hate” month. Hehehe! Before, I really hated to celebrate Valentine’s especially the time when I was single for many years before someone came into my heart (I had no Valentine’s for 9 long years until 2013). I also hated that occasion last year when I was still broken-hearted (that’s why I didn’t attend Feast on that Valentine’s Day last year because… you know). Because of this, I didn’t want to hear love songs, to witness kilig moments from loveteams, and to watch romantic scenes on movies. But was I so bitter back then? Hahaha!
But within one week before Valentine’s, I just want to share about the sweetness of love that I had experienced before. Having sweet is like more sugar because it will cause you diabetes, hahaha! I’m just joking, but in love, sweetness defines the true love of one another. Affection is what I mean. Few years ago, as you know, I had a girlfriend who was my textmate and lived in a far place from my home. Yeah, we had our long distance relationship (LDR) where we only contacted thru text messaging. That’s why, during that time, my phone inbox had full of text messages from her, averaging about 17.54 SMS per day. And we only met 15 times over three years because of LDR. Yeah, I really miss that time, isn’t it? But despite of being long distance, our sweetness was still there especially we communicated only thru text messaging that we exchanged our sweet messages such as “I love you”. Honestly, I really miss that sweet message from someone.
Having love life has been already part of my life. I still remember when I was desperately looking for someone. That was the time years before my textmate/girlfriend came into my life in 2012. When I was moved to non-deaf school right after my wonderful life in the United States in July 2005, I thought there was possible that I would have a non-deaf girlfriend after years of having deaf sweethearts (which are now illegitimate in my history books). But I never had any girlfriend for 7 long years. I had tried to court other non-deaf girls, but I failed. In 2007, I had three college girls who became my crushes. But none of them did become my college girlfriend. On that year, I made a fun to pick-up one of my college classmates/crushes to be my Valentine where I would give her a nice Valentine present. I didn’t notice that I fell in-love with her, but my appreciation to her ended into bitterness causing having “Cold Wars”, not once but twice during our second year college (I’ll explain this later on in the future).
In my entire college life, I didn’t have a college girlfriend. Someone told that I and my other classmates must study first before entering in a love relationship, but how come that some others already have girlfriends/boyfriends while they’re studying. That’s why there was something that I had to envy of. Even after college graduation, when I had my first job in Alabang, I was still loveless and no girlfriend despite that I had several crushes in my workplace. But being loveless was finally ended when someone stranger came into my life in an accidental fashion.
I know most of you already know this in my past episodes, so I just made my story short. An unknown girl became my textmate, and one year later she became my first ever non-deaf girlfriend. Before my 7-year love drought was ended, my courtship to her was bizarre. Unlike traditional courtships where the guy must entertain the girl in his respect of her family, I courted her thru text message after I revealed that I was already falling in-love with her. Few months later, she answered me also thru text message. That’s so weird because we had never met personally, and we didn’t know about our physical appearances such as our faces. We had no idea about it, but days later we finally met personally at her staying place in Nueva Ecija where she studied her college. This was the only time that I had a college girlfriend even though I already graduated and had a stable job (but the good thing was that she concentrated her studies while she’s in relationship with me in a long distance, and sometimes I supported her assignments when she asked me for help).
Term of Endearment
This is a word or phrase where lovers have their “nicknames” to show their showing love or affection each other. But when my new girlfriend asked me about our term of endearment during our few days of [long distance] relationship, I had no idea what it was. That’s obvious because I had been single or no girlfriend for 7 long years. During my life in “Deaf World”, term of endearment did not exist when I was in deaf school where I had dated some deaf girls. It was because, of course, they’re totally deaf and can’t speak, so it was not in my “dictionary” during that time (also text messaging was not so totally used back then since I had no cellphone of my own). After my new girlfriend asked me about it, I immediately asked one of my officemates (that time when my working schedule was night shift), and I also searched on internet about endearment. I was unaware on this because, of course, I never had a love life until this one. On the next day, I decided to call myself and my girlfriend simply as “honey”. “Honey”, aside of a sugary food produced by bees, is one of the most commonly used of endearment for lovers. Since then, “honey” was the very first word came up into our mind every time when we talked either personal or thru text messaging. “I love you, honey” was one of our sweetest messages while we’re still lovers before. Yikee! Hehehe! Kilig naman ‘to eh!
However, because of our broke-up in June 2015, I just decided to retire “honey” officially as my endearment because it is already “past”, of course. If I will have a new girlfriend in the future, we shall never use that word “honey” again as our endearment. We must use other endearments to call sweetly for us as lovers (hopefully if I’ll have a new one).
Most of lovers out there are celebrating their “monthsaries” on the date when they’re in love relationship. Monthsary is celebrated in terms of months, as opposed to anniversary which is celebrated in terms of years. However, not all months of a year have the same number of days. When lovers celebrate their monthsary on the 31st, they might not celebrate on some months ending only 30 days including February which has only 28 days or 29 during a leap year (the worst scenario, if they became sweethearts on February 29th, they can celebrate their monthsary in other months but can not celebrate anniversary until on their 4th year).
When I had a LDR with my textmate/girlfriend, we reached our first monthsary in July 2012. There was a time that we’re thinking that we discontinue our LDR because it might bother her college studies, but we never thought that our love relationship would last up to three years despite of having long distance each other. There were already 36 monthsaries or 3 anniversaries that we had.
However, in my “own” system, there was another “alternate” version to celebrate rather than “monthsaries” – the first 100 days and the first 1,000 days (of love). Unlike monthsary where lovers celebrate the date when we became gf/bf, marking 100-day is somewhat bizarre because it is based from my “own” calendar system (counting in days). Do you notice on above that I have a number of days written after the published date? That’s the number of days when my “own” world was created (starting January 1, 1997 – the beginning of my “era” and NOT my exact date when I was born as many others thought). During our three-year LDR, we celebrated our first 100 days sometime in September 2012 and our first 1,000 days of our LDR sometime in March 2015. This might be confusing, but I did this based on the counter of my “own” calendar system.
— 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 —
Endearment and celebrating “monthsaries” are those things that I had in my love life. These were included the sweetness that I had before such as having romantic dates, eating lunch or dinner together, holding hands, and of course, celebrating our Valentine’s that we did three times. Well, I really miss these, but it might never be the same again to my present situation. Sadly, I still remember when we broke-up almost two years ago that I sent my final text message to her, “I love you and goodbye…” That was my saddest moment ever in my love life. And it made me and my heart so hurt a lot during that night. Yeah, I miss the sweetness but not bitterness that I had last year where I was alone.
This year, it will be my second straight year to have no Valentine’s in Post-LDR era because until now I’m still single for the last almost 600 days (I supposed to not count this as per advice). But this time, there will be no more bitterness but still no sweetness that I had before. Although I have something special with somebody else (I don’t tell who that girl is, probably a possible crush or whatsoever), I don’t celebrate the love life this month without having a nice and pretty lady in my life. And I’m hoping this will be my last Valentine’s as being loveless. Pray for it.