Episode 101 – Monday, October 31st, 2016 (7244)
It’s Halloween, and I don’t know if there are lots of Halloween parties (only few are occurred in the Philippines) or “trick-or-treat” (kids going to the doors to receive some candies) around there. I remember way back 2004 when I was in the United States where I wore a Grim Reaper costume (as shown in the photo below) for the Halloween party with other exchange students. Well, my costume was not so scary but just more like “comic”. Here in my beloved country, some people are wearing scary costumes to attend Halloween party or decorating Halloween materials at their offices. But most of our beloved Filipinos refer to go home to their provinces and to the cemetery every year to visit their loved ones who are already “rest in peace”. Yeah, that’s because tomorrow and the other day will be All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day respectively or most popularly known as Undas. But, the last time when I visited the cemetery during Undas was about 20 years ago when I was still a kid. I visited there with my family (and my relatives) in Batangas to see the graves of my grandparents (I don’t remember if I had seen them alive because I was so young back then).
Anyway, aside of my grandparents and my other relatives (uncles, aunts, other cousins, etc.), there were some of my old friends who are already gone here on Earth. When I was at Philippine School for the Deaf back in 2003, one of my former teachers in high school died in a young age because of his habit – smoking. He was my History teacher two school years ago when I was in first year (freshmen) high school. I remember him when he defended me and my close classmate (rather “best friend”) against two of his students who were so bragging (one of them was a brag Chinese and was my former classmate too). Several years later when I was working in Alabang, I met one of my officemates – a proofreader who was almost my crush. She was pretty though, but it would be complicated for me because of her different religion (affiliated with a church whose chapel has stitches or “tusok-tusok”, you know what I mean hehehe). But sadly, in late 2013, I was so shocked that she died because of brain tumor. I was really regretted that she died too young. When I was her wake, I saw her beautiful face on the coffin for the final time. Ganda pa naman siya… Sayang! Awww… And lastly at home, just last October 10, one of my pet dogs (a female dog) unexpectedly died. I didn’t know why she was suddenly dead while I was at work, but I thought because of her old age. She was living with my family for 8 long years until her untimely death.
In the other side, I was so really surprised that two of my beloved teachers from PSD were already gone. I discovered this (so late) news when I opened (or reactivated) my old Facebook account (where I was connected with my old deaf friends). One of my former PSD teachers were my adviser in first year high school (remembering her classroom had a TV set), and the other one was so memorable because she was one of the members of my organization, Tent & Co. She was my former History teacher and a good adviser. In January 2014, I and my Feast friend, Yani, went to her place in Quezon City where we presented her and her companion about travel business. That was the final time when I met her personally. I felt heartbroken again when I saw on one of my old deaf friends’ post on Facebook that she was at the hospital early this year, and later she’s already gone last June.
Well, I know all of human lives don’t live last forever. We’re NOT immortals, but we have such limitations in life. When we celebrate our birthdays to increase our age, we feel we’re getting older and older. And that’s what I’m thinking of especially in my family. My parents are already old (more than 70 years of their ages), and I don’t think that, in the years to come (the future), one of them (or both) will be… you know what I mean. I’m so thinking about the future especially for my parents – my father has recovered from mild stroke while my mother has some high blood pressure. But I’m so really afraid for the consequence if ever there’s something going to miss at home.
No Longer Exist As Of Now
As the human lives don’t have eternal when we’re getting older, all the things that I had before didn’t also last forever. Kumbaga… walang forever!!! As the picture shown above, some things that were once part of my life are no longer existed in my current situation. The most regrettable example is the “death” of long distance relationship (LDR) when it was ended last June 2015. Others were related to the friendship of my old friends who, sadly, are no longer my friends as of today. And the other things such as my old organization, Tent & Co. (composing my deaf classmates), and my freedom and private life at My Tent Office are already defunct (thanks to other people who messed my life).
If these are no longer present in my life right now, how about other things that are still existed in my life? Is my happiness already dead? I think so because of many bad incidents happened right after the end of LDR. How about my desperate love life? Is my love life already endangered? Is there a chance to find “one true love”? I don’t know, but this may affect my future life. And that’s what I’ll discuss in the next paragraph.
Will My Better Future Life Be Dead Forever?
That’s so complicated! In my matured age, I’m still single and having no girlfriend for almost 500 days after the end of having a (long distance) relationship. And that’s what I’m thinking for. If ever I’ll remain single and unmarried up to the rest of my life, my life in the future will be (somewhat) worsened than expected. I will be forever stuck with my family at home with negativity and “harsh” environment. I will stay with my elder siblings who, I know, will be my “superiors” because I’m just a bunso (the youngest among them). And, of course, if I’ll have still a stable job the time when my eldest sister retires from her job, I’ll be considered as “breadwinner” because I’ll be the responsible for our daily basis and expenses (food, shelter, electricity, etc.). My God! My life will be ruined because of them if I’ll stay unmarried in the future! NO! It can’t be! So, I need to be panic before it’s too late or else… my dream to have freedom will be dead forever! I don’t think negative things about my future, but these might be my reality if ever happen.
But I’m still praying and hoping that my future will be better than what I am in the present situation because of the problems that I’m facing. Thus, my dreams for the future are not yet dead but still staying alive! And one of my dreams that I’m wishing for is to find “one true love” that she might be the “right” key to love me faithfully and to solve from being heartbroken into a happy love life towards to a better family into a better future. Mark my words! Period!