Episode 94 – Thursday, September 22nd, 2016 (7205)
I have been attending The Feast for three years where I’m also a servant for Media Ministry (operating LCD that shows visuals and PowerPoint presentations). But despite of that, I have never joined Light Groups most especially in Singles Ministry. Some of my friends from the Feast (particularly from SM Santa Rosa) have encouraged me to join with them in Singles. But there was one time that I almost joined the Singles.
Last June, while I was attending alone (and unaccompanied) at Feast SM Santa Rosa, a nice lady sat beside me, and she talked me before the love offering. I seemed her so nice although I had seen her many times (including Jesus Encounter where I was operating for Media Ministry last year). And then she wanted me to join Singles where she belongs. Just last month, after the Feast, I was sitting with my friend, Carlo, while confessing my love problem. Suddenly she was there again together with her friends in Singles who greeted her as she’s celebrating her birthday. Then she spotted me and called me to pick up one word message from a box (I think) to tell something. Later I just decided to join with her and her friends in Singles to eat lunch at a restaurant. I didn’t approach her anyway while eating lunch, but I noticed that there was something strange. On the next day, I investigated on Facebook about her personality and her connections, and I found out that she has already a boyfriend. I was stunned and disappointed that I had almost a “crush” on her after we first met.
I don’t really understand why she’s still included in Singles Ministry despite of having a boyfriend. I thought she’s single because she’s with her friends in Singles, but why? I know that Singles Ministry is for single people, but why are there having love relationships, girlfriend or boyfriend? Not all of my friends in Singles Ministry are still “single”. But I’ve asked you… why? Why is this? Is this supposed for all single people who are looking for their long-term relationship, but why? Having gf/bf in Singles? No way! This may probably be my “greatest” objection that I’ve ever done since I joined to attend the Feast. That will be unfair for those singles and heartbroken people, like me, to bond together with somebody who has their love relationships.
What is this? Segregation?
If you want to look for a love life then join Singles, you are not sure if the girl that you like might be single or have already a boyfriend. I’m wondering why those who are no longer to be “single” are still joining in Singles with single people. That’s unfair! For me if I want to, I suggest to separate from Singles for those who “pretend to be single” and create a new “ministry” called “Dating Ministry”. That sounds crazy, but indeed. If he/she is in a love relationship with his girlfriend/her boyfriend, he/she shall NOT be allowed to join Singles! But I’m just kidding (I don’t want to hurt somebody who ever read this episode right now).
However, last week, I chatted with one of my friends from the Feast and Singles Ministry on Facebook. Alex Lucena explained me after I asked him why not all people in Singles are still “single”. There’s his explanation: (Note: translated and modified from Taglish – combination of Tagalog and English)
“It is because of their spiritual needs the guidance that they need in helping them to grow, so they’re still counted in Singles. If they’re excluded from Singles, what ministry will help them? Being part of the Singles Ministry goes beyond the civil status. We have two kinds of singles: singles in a relationship and singles who are not in a relationship. It’s because those who have boyfriend or girlfriend are not yet a couple technically because they’re not married, living together or having children yet. So the needs for singles in a relationship are almost the same for other singles.”
Maybe I was so skeptic during that time because I didn’t understand how the Singles Ministry has some bunch of non-“single” people. But I may object about joining those who have in a relationship in Singles despite of calling them as “singles”. Do you get my point?
I may understand on the explanation of my Feast friend. Those lovers are still classified as “single” in their civil status because they’re not still legally married though. But they are already in “Level 2” on their love life while the other people in Singles are remained in “Level 1” and still looking for their long term relationship, just like me. I know they’re already my friends though, but to be honest, there’s some hesitation for me when there are some people who talks about their love life especially having their love relationships. They might make themselves so kilig, but I don’t because I’m still single and loveless.
Well, Singles Ministry may be the best way for me to meet new people and to find someone who will be my “forever” probably. But how come not all of them are still “single”. I’m still looking for a next girlfriend though, but I’m sorry to tell that I don’t have to join Singles if there’s some already “taken” in their lives. That’s why I don’t join any group (or activities such as Love Life Retreat) because, aside of my not-so-loud speech when I talk with a bunch of people (I prefer one-on-one conversation), I don’t want to have some affection with someone who has already been in a relationship even she has good pleasure towards me. I may be not a social person, but I need to be sure enough if someone will be deserved the best for my future.