Eyeball

Episode 85 – Monday, August 15th, 2016 (7167)

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Do you remember when I tried to post my mobile number on social media to search for a potential textmate last January? Well, it came into failure because none of textmate wannabes did last long. After that, I had never tried to do this again. But… it’s not until just last Wednesday.

Recently, I bought a new mobile number for a backup of my existing (and current) mobile number. Because of this, last Wednesday, I tried again to post my personal mobile numbers (yeah, both of my numbers) elsewhere (not on Facebook). I typed my details on a small comment section stating that I was looking for a possible textmate. I also looked for other comments that they’re also searching for their prospects. And on the next day, some would respond on my number.

from moshph

This was my message somewhere on the internet where I posted my personal mobile numbers for those who wanted me to have some communication as a potential textmate. (Screenshot from mosh.ph)

Last Thursday, I tried to send a simple text message to unknown that I found elsewhere. And she replied to have some text conversation. Suddenly, there was another one that she wanted to call me thru phone while I was at work (although I was idle on that time), and I did to have some talk with her. I also had a chance to search their names on Facebook to add for friends (as well as seeing their photos). However, there were some mobile numbers that didn’t respond after I found elsewhere (do they change their numbers?). But there’s one textmate who made me so surprised and willing to meet me immediately.

Last Friday, a text message came on my phone then I replied it. She answered me back with her name (just called her “Textmate A”) then we began to exchange text messages. Although her name was so nice to call, it was remained into mystery because she had no Facebook account so that I had no idea about her personality and her personal appearance. Then suddenly, she wanted me to meet personally as soon as possible after she misunderstood my text message that I supposed to call her thru phone. But later, I accepted her willing to meet by tomorrow. I didn’t even prepare to go to meet her, but I took a risk to try having a meeting with her. And one thing that I was really surprised was she told me if we’ll meet, we’ll become sweethearts as she’s so serious to look for her future partner. I was so stunned because I never thought that she let someone to court her at first. Later at night, we continued to chat thru text messages about our possible meeting on the next day.

The Meeting

Eyeball, aside a part of an eye, is a part of a meeting of two strangers who are in-love or getting to know each other personally. This was not my first time to have “eyeball” or meeting with a stranger (or textmate). I already did it four years ago with my former (and first) long distance textmate/girlfriend somewhere in the North. It’s just exciting but yet some nervous, I guess, because it’s the first time to meet each other after having a chat with “Textmate A” (thru text messages or thru social media) less than 24 hours. And just last Saturday, we did it.

I went to a mall somewhere in Quezon City (about 31.6 miles or 51 kilometers from my home in Laguna) for our meeting place while she’s heading from her home in Bulacan. She left home too early while I was leaving around 8:40 in the morning, but my travel time was so fast (without any hassle or traffic) so that I came there too early around 10:15. I was waiting for her about an hour because she was stuck at traffic until we finally met with some surprise.

When I first looked at her, she’s quite chubby but cute and charm. I described her as “2.0 version” of “You-know-who” (my deaf enemy) because of her wearing glasses, and she’s the look-a-like of one of my proofreaders when I was working in Alabang. But anyways, we had some good talk about ourselves while walking around the mall. I felt it was the first time after a long, long while that I was no longer alone in a public place. It’s because, after my heartbroken from long distance relationship (LDR) last year, I had been alone almost all the time when I walked around the mall and ate a lunch in a restaurant alone or without any companion. But, last Saturday, finally I had a lunch date with “Textmate A”. I was so glad that I was no longer lonely and forever alone because she came with me for a nice “date”.

After our lunch date, we decided to go to a cinema to watch one of my favorite actors, Jackie Chan, and his latest movie, Skiptrace. Because we bought our ticket an hour before the time schedule, we had our bonding time to walk again around the mall and to eat some donuts. And then, we came back to a cinema after an hour to watch a movie. This was my first time in almost two years to watch a movie in a cinema with a companion. However, while the movie was about to start, I felt something affection on her, and I tried to hold her left hand (as in holding hands) while watching. She accepted it with pleasure. And because of being chubby, I liked to have a sweet hug on her left arm just like a teddy bear. Hehehe… But I didn’t understand why I did this, but was this because I missed something that what I had done before in my past relationship? Or did I need some affection because I missed it so much? Hmmm…

After watching the movie that lasted about two hours, I felt I was almost in-love with her because we continued to hold our hands while we’re heading to the exit. She asked me if we’re already lovers. But I was thinking whether I was in-love or just having affection because I missed the way that I had a girlfriend. And I was not totally ready to have a serious love relationship as she thought (or wanted) because I have some circumstances that I really need to analyze (especially in my feelings and from my heart) before getting a girlfriend. But I observed her as she really needs a longtime partner (like me or maybe some other else). I think she’s almost perfect for me because she’s young (younger than my age), has stable job, sweet, good attitude, and understanding despite of her physical appearance (I like chubby though, but I just remind “You-know-who”, my deaf enemy, or “chubby”, my former college classmate, because of my past failures and mistakes (e.g. controversy)). What do you think about this happen?

After our [first] date, we decided to go home early while the rain was so heavy outside the mall.

Aftermath and Thoughts

Still, I don’t really understand why I had been almost falling in-love with “Textmate A” after we had holding hands beginning when we watched a movie inside a cinema last Saturday. Is this because I really miss having a love life that I don’t have for more than 400 days? Or do I need for affection? I don’t know, but I’m so confused right now. Can I probably describe my connection to her as “more than friends but less than lovers”? Or can we end into “friendzone”? Hmmm…

There’s a right chance to end my one-year love drought because of her, but I feel I’m in the wrong place and in the wrong time (because of being “rushed” as she wanted to be). For me, I don’t want to have hurry regarding to find “one true love” to become a longtime partner. I’m really careful to do this to avoid any failures or risks that end up into complicated manner. I still have some textmates though that one of them may or may not become my future partner, but I think “Textmate A” is the closest to fall in-love with me in Post-LDR period (or probably LDR version 2.0 if happens soon).

18xw6m

***Update***

Yesterday, I confessed to some of my friends at The Feast (right after the session in SM City Santa Rosa) about my situation, and they gave me some advice. I think that the lady who was insisting me to have a serious relationship was so weird. I had some feelings on her, but I don’t want to be rushed. We just only met personally a day after she contacted me thru text messages, but she wanted me to become her boyfriend immediately and very seriously even we still don’t know each other. And I was so surprised when she invited me to have an overnight date with her in Tagaytay this week which was not so appropriate to me because there would might something happen special. You know what I mean. That’s NOT really a good idea. Most of my trusted friends (and guardian angels) were against this “crazy” thing.

I think she’s so obsessed for loving me as she said thru text messages that I’ll be her partner forever, calling me for her endearment, and loving me so much even though I’m NOT in love with her because of her weird actions. She likes me just for a temptation (or intimate relationship). In other words, she’s too overload in love similar to a classic song which sings, “… too much love will kill you!” This is NOT typical girl that I’m looking for! I thought Filipinos ladies are still conservative in this kind of courtship and in a love relationship.

Within this week, I will plan to change my number (probably one of my two mobile numbers that I currently use) to not have any contacts with “Textmate A” anymore. Maybe, that’s my fault why I posted my personal mobile numbers elsewhere thru internet, but this will be the lesson for me to not enter this type of situation again and in the future for my searching “one true love”.

18y55x

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