Episode 83 – Friday, August 5th, 2016 (7157)
Tomorrow will be my birthday, and this will be my second birthday without having a love life. It will not be completed without a sweet greeting from my true love (girlfriend). Yeah, yeah, love life again! I think you’ll be tired talking about my love life because I’m not even from a showbiz industry as you’ve thought. And yet, you might be bored on my stories especially about my never-ending searching for “one true love”. I know this is urgent because I’m getting old as I will be no longer within 20s by tomorrow. And, speaking of “boring”, in this episode, I’m just talking about boredom especially in my situation right now. Having my boring life is now everywhere… almost. Being dull, numb and middling are always present in my situation since I became loveless more than 400 days ago.
Every time when I commute in a public transport (particularly jeep) I’m so pissed to sit beside with guys. I hate to sit with someone who wears sando (or jersey shirt that exposes his armpit), dirty dress (even sometimes they don’t take bath) or getting sweat (causing bad odor). I also hate to have a seat with some suspected guys (might be belonged to a gang or something related to a crime), but I don’t think or even care on guys sitting beside me (left and right) while riding in a public transport. For quite sometimes, I ride in a seat beside with a lady (either student or within 20s), but what I have to miss is to seat with a loved one (girlfriend) where I can hold her hand while commuting. It’s so sad for me that I have no love life right now. And barely, I’m almost alone or even without any passenger sitting. I feel bored when I ride alone in a jeep or pedicab (or cycle rickshaw – a sidecar to a bicycle). My boredom is existed, not just in public transport, but also in public places where I walk around alone (without any companion).
Meanwhile at work, despite of having happiness with them at the office, I and my officemates are always in idle. Yeah, we do nothing but to explore internet, to watch some videos, to log-in on Facebook, to play some online games or to have some nap (I rarely have a nap at the office). Except when we have some minor works, we’re still nganga or inactive at all times at the workplace every day. We’re okay to have some relaxation at work; however, we’re afraid that we might lose our jobs because we haven’t received any important tasks (e.g. articles) from the top boss (working overseas) over in the past month. Working as graphic designers for the magazine, we recently finished making our latest magazine issue last June, but last month, we didn’t make any single page on the next issue because we didn’t yet received any information from the top. It might be probably because they forget us, or this might be the end of our jobs for them. Hopefully, this will not be happened, but I don’t know what’s next for me and my other colleagues.
Right now, I feel so bored without taking any major tasks at the workplace. In front of the computer, I do nothing but to explore internet all day until the early evening. Unlike what I had done before in my two previous jobs where they made me stress (could not have any idle time), my current job is just like staying at home. However, it might be uncertain for the long-term (job security is really important), and I’m afraid that, in the next coming days, it might be the end. But I stay positive and keep praying for the future situation at my job.
Aside of having “boredom” at work, I only use the office computer to explore internet (watching videos on YouTube, 9gag, NBA.com, ESPN, etc.) rather than to design something for the magazine (or some important things). But because I’ve done this almost every day, it becomes boring for me. Every time when I open my Facebook, I never (or barely) chat to my friends because I think they might be busy (most of them might use thru cellphone via data connection) or I have no topic to discuss or to open up with them thru chat. Except for funny memes posting on Facebook (or 9gag) and watching new interesting videos on YouTube, I become bored to explore on the net because I have no interaction with somebody. For quite sometimes, I just play online games to ease up my boredom while being idle.
The good thing is that there’s an internet connection at the office. But how about when I’m at home? In the house, it’s so boring because, aside of being hot temperature (thanks for having no windows in my bedroom), there’s no internet or even Wi-Fi connection. I can’t be able to put an internet connection at home because no one (except my jobless elder brother) knows how to use computer and to explore internet. And even worse, my elder brother will be benefit for it because I will provide the monthly internet bills while he (well, as being jobless) will use it all-day, all-night at home. And the electricity cost will be increased up to thousand pesos (my eldest sister would have been heart attack for cost as she provides for it). About few years ago, there was a Wi-Fi connection that I could connect while at home (I found the easiest password to connect from this after I discovered on my phone). However, early last year, it was no longer connected because the owner might change the password or disconnect from his/her place. So, I patiently connected thru data access despite of very slow internet connection. However, for right now, my two phones are sometimes malfunctioned and so slow every time when I use data access. One of my phones easily decreases the battery while the other one is so sensitive because of unattended virus (that’s why I never use it for connecting Wi-Fi or data access). That’s so annoying, isn’t it? If I have a phone that is not hassle and not so slow (and internet access is so fast), I will not be so bored.
And speaking of cellphones, I had always held my cellphone to have communication (text messages) with my long distant girlfriend/textmate almost every time, everywhere. But this was before. Right now, I just use mine only when I play games. That’s so boring! I barely chat or interact to some of my friends thru call or text messages because they might be busy (really?) and never reply me back after sending my text message to them. Because of this, my cellphone load is going to be wasted, and the worse, it is eaten by solicited (or non-sense) text blast from telco company even though I don’t use data connection or subscribe any promos. That’s so annoying for me that the cellphone load is gone (in only few days) despite of never being used. I have tried to solve this annoying problem, but I can’t because it’s still there eating cellphone load. Gosh! I need to buy another SIM card again to replace the old ones (I think I’ve done this about 10 times since 2006 because of security), and even my two cellphones have some strange functions (apps that are suddenly shut down or freezing).
My two cellphones might be just useless for now. If I have a textmate or close friend that is always interacting, I’ll be happy to have someone who wants to communicate with me even thru text messages or call. If my love life is still existed up to the present, my life would not be boring and dull as I’ve right now (blame the school calendar adjustment causing the break-up with my long-time girlfriend/textmate who is still studying college). Right now, I’m still single and having hard time to look for the deserving one to open my heart again. But nowadays, I feel I have lost my appetite to search for “one true love”. Is it because I’m tired already? Or is it because of security for the future that someone might leave me for unknown cause? If I remain single for the rest of my life, my boredom will be existed in my life forever.
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Like in my two previous episodes, I’m in the state of mediocrity, and I’m thinking of giving up (tiredness). I always remind myself, like a TV program, that it has been another day (episode) of boring “broadcast” right after my whole day ends. That’s my boring life, and there’s nothing new in my current situation either at home or at work every day. My love life has been in-hiatus for now, but hopefully someday a perfect girl will come in my life to open my heart and to make me happy again.
I’m so optimistic that I’ll accomplish my dreams come true especially to my searching for my “one true love”. The long nightmare and the love drought will be over… hopefully, and I need to do my tough challenges and obstacles in my life (searching for single ladies, courtships, failures, success to have a love relationship) towards to be my independence from the distractions that I’ve right now. I’m still hoping in the future that my life will be not boring as what I’ve experienced right now.