Christmas Love… Less

Episode 34 – Thursday, December 3rd, 2015 (6911)

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OMG! It’s already December! And it is the 12th and final month of the year 2015, and it’s a Yuletide month as Christmas and New Year are near. But for me, this will be the first time since 2011 that I’m single and loveless this Christmas 2015. My Christmas this year will be cold enough because it has been almost 6 months after the break-up of long distance relationship with my former textmate (I hope she’ll be fine this Christmas after our break-up). I will be sad this Christmas because of someone that “lost” from my heart and some distractions that bother me so much at home.

Even though I’m still looking for the “Right One”, I think it’s not enough to find someone to be my (next dream) girlfriend before Christmas or the year 2015. I’m not rushing enough to look for someone because I haven’t any deadlines (in contrast on what I had said before in 2009 or even in 2004 whatsoever), but I need to find the “Right One” as soon as possible (in the right place, in the right time) because I’m already too old enough (no longer a teenager to court a young beautiful lady like those in college) and I need to set up my freedom from the distractions in the house (#RoadToIndependence, read Episode 30). That’s why I have a lot of plans how to find and to court a right girl to be my dream girlfriend (and eventually my future wife). It sounds like I’m in a panic mode, but I don’t want to remember my past failures to be happened again such as courtship failures, competition with other suitors, a crush that has already a boyfriend, friendzone and even I had LDR before, it was ended with a heartbroken break-up. And I don’t want also to have a love drought for a long time like what I had for 7 long years (the “curse” of deaf sweethearts, I will explain this in my future episodes) of having no girlfriend, and I’m sure I don’t want to wait for another 7 years (or more) to find my true love!

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In my past 18 years celebrating Christmas since 1997, there were sometimes that I was happy, sad or just stable during Christmas season. With the exception in 2004 (when I was in the U.S.), I have celebrated Christmas with my family, eating noche buena on the night before, giving some money to most children outside the house, receiving extra “gifts” from someone, and some warm greetings (although not everyone in the house) every year. There are some Christmas moments that I’ve experienced in the past 18 Yuletide seasons: (Note: the years that I had happy love life are in bold typeface.)

1997 – It was my happiest Christmas that I ever had during my childhood age and with my family.

1998 – Although there were some “deaf invasion” (enemies) in the village that caused me so bad, I still celebrated Christmas with some “lovable” moments (on New Year’s Eve, I had almost a crush to a pretty teenage girl who knew to use sign language, but unfortunately she had already a boyfriend during that time).

1999 – That year was so exciting for me because of the coming of the new millennium (although the 3rd millennium would enter in 2001).

2000 – At the midst of the presidential impeachment (you still remember this if you’re a 90s kid), this was my wonderful Christmas season during that time when I had a pretty deaf crush in school.

2001 – It was my “romantic” Christmas during that time when I had a deaf sweetheart in school (nullified).

2002 – It was my “sweet” Christmas when I had someone (my high school crush although she was just chubby during that time).

2003 – Although that year was so complicated and controversial due of school conflicts, I still celebrated Christmas with my close classmates (Tent & Co.) at Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD). This would be our last Christmas to be together in one group of friends before I left for U.S. This would be also my final time to attend the school’s Christmas party at PSD where I had studied for 10 wonderful years and the last to have a deaf sweetheart (nullified).

2004 – That year was the most memorable Christmas moment for me when I confessed about my secret feelings to my deaf crush and teammate in Academic Bowl of Alabama School for the Deaf (ASD). This was my first (and only) time to celebrate Christmas in the U.S. (with the Woolmakers) and without my family living in Laguna. However, this would be my final time to have Christmas celebration in the deaf community/world.

2005 – It was my first time ever to attend Christmas party in a non-deaf school (I remember when I kissed my high school classmate who was my crush) and also in Post-“Deaf World” Era.

2006 – It was my first time to participate a Christmas program of PUP – Sta. Rosa Campus where I was a member of crew of PUP-Sta. Rosa Artist Club (I would also participate in 2007). This was my first time to have Christmas celebration in my college life (as Information Technology course).

2007 – It was my memorable Christmas season during college times when I joined with other classmates in our trip at Enchanted Kingdom and having Christmas party with my close classmates of BSIT 2-2.

2008 – Although I was with my group mates (whom I was not so closed with them) for a major I.T. project/thesis, I was happy to celebrate Yuletide season with some cool weather.

2009 – Because of the controversies that came and almost destroyed my life, that year was the saddest and most horrible Christmas for me (where I didn’t join with my family to eat, to bond, and to watch TV together). This was my last Christmas in my college life.

2010 – A year after the worst “nightmare” in my life, I just celebrated Christmas with something unhappy and unusual with my family. But in contrast, it was just a Christmas gift for me when I already had my first job in Alabang as a graphic artist, and I joined the company’s Christmas party which was my first time to attend such occasion in my post-college life.

2011 – It was my wonderful Christmas season in my post-college life when I had my long distant textmate (who eventually became my girlfriend months later) and some happiest moments at my work in Alabang (even though I didn’t attend the company’s Christmas party).

2012 – This was my first ever Christmas to have a girlfriend (my former textmate) although it was our only third meeting as lovers. We had our first ever Christmas date which became the most romantic and memorable Christmas for us.

2013 – Even though it was my second Christmas to have a love life despite of long distance, it was my first Christmas to be jobless (6 months after I resigned from my second job) but to be with my Feast friends.

2014 – I had my second Christmas date with my long distant girlfriend, and we had our most romantic Christmas moment. This was my third consecutive Christmas to have my love life (but, however, it would be the last…)

2015 – ???

Probably (but surely) for this Christmas 2015, it will be my first time since 2011 to have NO girlfriend, NO sweetness, and NO love life that I had these before for three years, and now they are NO longer in my life this Christmas season. How sad, isn’t it?

And because of that, I just post a music video from Rocksteddy, and I’m sure most of the single guys out there will be related of this:

v4edl

v4eoa

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Well, I’m still hoping that I will find the “Right One” in the right place, in the right time after the failed long distance relationship that I had for 3 long years. But I don’t need to be sad this Christmas because there are my friends from the Feast to make me happy and from the words of the Lord to make me strong and blessed.

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One response

  1. Pingback: 100 | My Tent Journal

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