Episode 26 – Monday, October 19th, 2015 (6866)
In the commemorating of 10 years since my “world” has been changed from being “deaf” into a new one, I just want to share you about the worst happenings in the past 10 years (2005-2015) in my life since I came back home from my greatest and happiest experience in the United States (as a foreign exchange student) and right after transferring from a deaf school to a non-deaf school causing the beginning of the Post-Deaf World (School) Era in July 2005.
This is the part of the Best and the Worst series (in which I will discuss the best in the next episode), and I just started the story with my worst experiences in my life in the past 10 years:
- Short-lived friendship with a new “friend” (Apr. 27-30, 2014)
I met a new friend just called her, “R.M.”, who was introduced by my office boss in San Pedro. After exchanging contact numbers thru my boss, I and “R.M” first chatted thru our text messages to introduce ourselves. On the next day, I met her personally in Biñan, Laguna and talked each other to become new “friends”. But our “friendship” turned out me into trouble. Within that day, “R.M.” begged me some money to use for her living in a new boarding house in Parañaque. I just helped her to buy some appliances for her rental. On the following day, we met again, and I thought that I would help her problem about her stay, but I got so troubled when she asked to bring all of the items that we bought to her boarding house in Parañaque. I got so mad at her because she had no “common sense” at all after she bought some items from my own money.
Within the days, I suspected about her personality after she asked to beg me again and again and again. Not only that, she kneeled down in front of me when she was crying to beg me to help her for her problem. I was still working at the office during that time when she came outside to beg me, but after I went back to the office to report my boss, who had helped her within one week ago, about the incident, and he went outside to look for “R.M.”, but she was already gone.
The short-lived “friendship” with “R.M.” made me the worst “nightmare” in my working career days (although the incident was not work-related). I had been a “friend” with her only six days (the shortest duration of friendship that I had), and because of that bad incident, I really regretted on what we had before.
As of now, “R.M.” has been excommunicated from my friendship (and my life, too) and became “Anti-Tent” (or my enemy) after violations that she made (begging to buy some things for her, carrying her things to her rent house causing me so tired, and abusing my financial abundance).
- “Cold War” against “chubby” not once but twice (Aug.-Sept. 2007, Feb.-Jul. 2008)
During the time when I was in college, I had my classmate just called her “chubby”. She was cherish, talented (in drawing), and of course… cute. However, I didn’t really understand why I had “special” feelings to her despite of being “chubby” (you know what I mean).
In our sophomore year in college at PUP-Sta. Rosa, I tried to get closer to her, but there were some distractions around her. She had her old man suitor (coined as “tito”) who was also her “special friend”. This became controversial because of their age gap (around 12 years in between their ages), and I was the one who against their “special” friendship. (In fact, I didn’t like to have age gap between lovers especially to my future girlfriend during that time, but years later I contradicted my “rule” when I had a girlfriend whom her age was 9 years younger than me.) Because of this, I declared “Cold War” against “chubby”. On August 2007, I started to ignore and staying away from her around the campus, and eventually I just transferred my seat from her side (as seatmates) during our one non-major subject. Our “Cold War” lasted for about 40 days until some of our classmates let us to reconcile thru simple one-on-one talk outside one of our classmate’s house (coincidentally one of my former crush in college).
After reconciliation, our friendship was restored especially during the time when her 18th birthday was coming. I (and some other classmates) attended her debut at her relative’s prosperous house in Biñan, Laguna, but I didn’t appreciate it during that night. I tried to have getting closer to “chubby”, but it was not like what we had before. But by the following year (2008), the friendship that we had before became worsened. One January morning, I and some of my classmates went to SM City Sta. Rosa to have some refreshments, but unexpectedly I spotted “chubby” with her “new” lover walking around the mall. My witness to them became the subject to start another “Cold War” against “chubby”.
The second “Cold War” caused many dramatic happenings including my departure from PUP-Sta. Rosa Artist Guild (being a member of “Crew” or creative workers) that led “boycotting” my participation of displaying my artworks during the foundation day (which made “chubby” cry after being told by her colleagues about my resignation) and getting more distant from her most in our class. One of the bad moments that made me so irritated was the spotting of her boyfriend standing nearby the campus and waiting for “chubby” to come out after our class. Parang taga-sundo lang ah? Anung tingin nya kay “chubby”… kinder tapos sya ang guardian? Hehehe!
Our “Cold War” extended up to our third year in college where we talked in one unexpected time. One time during our English class, “chubby” came near my seat and asked if I was still mad at her, and I answered her seriously, “yes…” but after our class, I just spotted her crying with some of her close classmates. During that time, I didn’t really care what she had even our broken friendship. However, the bitterness didn’t last until one July afternoon. After about 160 days of being “enemy”, I finally decided to reconcile with her thru simple one-on-one talk. Just before our afternoon class, I just called her and went outside the room to talk straight. I explained her about my mistakes that I did against her and bitterness where I got to be mad at her because of having her relationship. After some minutes of talking, we reconciled for the second time ending our “bitterness”.
Our broken friendship was not fully restored up to our college graduation, but my mutual friendship to “chubby” was finally restored when we attended Kerygma Lenten Recollection in 2013 with some of our former college classmates. However, I decided to break away her from being a friend after I discovered that her boyfriend was eventually serving in Music Ministry at Feast Biñan, and I made it because I didn’t want to refresh the “past” (that’s why I don’t want her boyfriend to be my friend even within the Feast family).
- Getting frustrated from my mother after arguing over my coming home late from prayer worship and meeting of Feast Biñan (Aug. 25, 2013)
During the time when I was jobless, I was so enjoy to attend and to serve at Feast Biñan, and in one time there was Connect (Care) Group or CG where our friends were talking about their lives, problems, and good happenings. But my enjoyment in the Feast turned out into some negativity to my family especially to my aging mother. One Saturday evening of August 2013, right after Feast session in Biñan, I was invited some of my Feast friends to have our CG at a fastfood chain nearby. I was excited because I want to share about my experience especially when I was out of job. Our CG ended almost midnight, and my mother was worried after I received her text message worrying about me. I was no longer a teenager during that time (yes, I was already in near 30s though), and I was so upset on what my mother’s action because I was already old to do my own things. After CG, I rushed to go home and arrived past midnight with some misunderstandings when my mother got mad at me worrying about my coming home so late, and she didn’t know about what I was attending on a church or praying meeting that she thought it might have been not a Catholic organization. I got upset to her when I gave her the newsletter of the Feast Biñan explaining that the Feast is a CATHOLIC prayer of worship. On the next day, I was still upset about the incident and expressing my displeasure on my Facebook. Later, my mother explained to me why she was worried to me because I was jobless (and of course, she has been suffered high-blood pressure). I got to respect her, of course, because she’s my mother, but I didn’t like what she’s doing on me even though I was getting older and no longer as a teenager (just like a girl or having a “curfew”).
- Worst conflict that led into my resignation (Mar.-Jun. 2013)
RR Donnelley (RRD), located in Mandaluyong, was my second job stint after ASEC Asia (now AGR Philippines), but the place that supposed to have a nice employment opportunity turned out into a worst nightmare.
During the first few months after I began to work at RRD, I enjoyed the way that I liked to work hard and to have a right productivity, but one thing that I didn’t really like was the people around me. In March 2013, one of my work colleagues who were Senior Quality Controller bullied me during our work because of my “silent” personality. She was trying me to talk with her and her close “freak” friends at the work even though I didn’t like to talk at her. At one early morning when we’re in night shift, I was eating my midnight dinner alone at the canteen when that “witch” woman came up on me and tried to talk with me, but I remained silent while eating. I supposed to smash myself, but I controlled my anger even she insisted me to talk at her (makulit talaga). And not only that, her boyish friend who worked as Senior Graphic Designer also bullied me when she “squeezed” up my right ear after I mistakenly finished one job that I made.
Aside of bullying me in the office, another thing that I didn’t really appreciate on my work was the environment. I also didn’t like changing schedules, the food at the canteen (most were so lousy), lack of breaking time, frequent overtimes, inconveniences (I used to travel from my home in Santa Rosa, Laguna to Mandaluyong and vice versa in a heavy traffic of EDSA and inaccessibility of provincial buses where I needed to stand up in almost whole time of travel while the bus was full of passengers), system and internet connection failure, “unfriendly” colleagues (some of them were too snobbish causing me so helpless when I needed to call for assistance) and strict implementation about quality where I was placed into “probation” after I committed some errors on jobs that I made.
Because of these that made me so dissatisfied on RRD, I decided to quit my job from RRD on June 2013 (but I didn’t tell the “true” main reason to the head after passing my resignation letter a month earlier). I remained jobless for almost 8 months until I found my better job in San Pedro in January 2014.
- Working at non-IT-related job (June 2010)
Right after my college graduation, I found a job that supposed to be my best place to work. A travel agency, also located in Mandaluyong, was operated by a deaf entrepreneur who graduated at Philippine School for the Deaf (PSD), the deaf school where I had studied for 10 years (but didn’t graduate). My job at a travel agency was served to be as my “exile country” because I was permitted to stay there during my working days (Mondays to Fridays) and going home on Fridays after work week. However, the supposed to be my “first” job after graduation became one of my worst nightmares in my working career.
At first, I thought I would be assigned as an I.T. operator or even graphic artist, but I never thought that my job would not be as what I had learned from college. My deaf boss assigned me in many ways – working overnight as “security guard”, buying something one-by-one, carrying big money at the bank, talking with her clients personality or thru phone (my boss couldn’t do it because, of course, she’s deaf), supervising on the renovation (as I was handling hardware things), and walking back and forth within Shaw-EDSA area. These things were not really I.T.-related, and I really never learned any of these (such as Accountancy where I brought a lot of money). On June 28, 2010, it was my 20th working day, the first day of working week, but it would be my last working day. I and my deaf boss walked around EDSA in a hot sunny morning, entered the mall with air-conditioned atmosphere, walked again under heavy rains and entered in an air-conditioned internet café. These activities made me so ill with some headaches. On the next day, my deaf boss let me to go home to take a full rest, but this time I decided to quit my job at travel agency. I intended to return at the place on the next following week but not to report my attendance. Instead, I passed my resignation letter to her stating that I quitted the position that I had been. I left the workplace in July 2010 causing me into jobless for few months before getting my first “real” job in Alabang.
- Working office for 24 hours straight (Feb. 27, 2012)
While I was working at ASECAsia in Alabang, I had been transferred from one place to another within few months. My longest tenure in one project was in Dex One (West) where I stayed there for almost a year with some happy moments. But in late February 2012, I was forced to get back temporarily in a project where I had been belonged first – the SuperMedia.
There were some of my friends remained in SuperMedia since I left to transfer to Dex One after the dissolution of two of its three projects causing and forcing most of my former work colleagues to depart. On the February night, I went back to SuperMedia with one of my former officemates who was my office “best friend” coming back (from her force resignation) to help and to produce the volume of ads. We stayed there to work on the project to reach the target deadline for one week without weekend rest (I was in night shift during that time while my office “best friend” was in day shift). And on the supposed to be the last working day at SuperMedia, I and my work colleagues in night shift were forced to work (as in, we couldn’t go home) until the volume of ads would be done. So, as we came at the office on Sunday night, we’re trying to work up to next evening (together with our other colleagues who worked for their day shift). We had enough time to have our breaking time and enough rest after hours of working in front of our computers. However, we’re stuck whole day at the office because we had no idea when we should go home. One of our officemates had stayed at work for almost two days, and we’re getting tired and stress as there were still some number of ads that we’re not yet starting to produce, and the deadline should be done on that night. As the time that I needed to finish, I had been idle after the last work that I had done, and my team leader came up to recall me to go back to Dex One (I asked him to let me taking my absence on the next evening because of my tiredness). And because I was no longer to belong at SuperMedia anyone after one week of temporary stay, I intentionally left the workplace and went home finally from the office without any permission after almost 24 hours (eventually my aging mother called me up thru her text message worrying about not getting home).
My last day of one-week temporary stint at SuperMedia was my longest working hours that I had since I got my permanent job after college graduation in 2010.
- Joining with my “boring” college classmates as a group for our major I.T. subjects (Nov. 2008-Oct. 10, 2009)
In November 2008, I and my other classmates in I.T. course had our groupings for a major project (similar to thesis) for the second semester of our junior year which was lasted up to the first semester of our senior year. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get back from my former group for Feasibility subject back in first semester because one of my close classmates (and leader at the time) picked “chubby” (my former crush and classmate whom I got hurt on her causing our two “Cold Wars”). So, I looked for other classmates to be my group, and I did find the new ones.
I joined with my other classmates – consisted with two Ms and two RJs to become my group mates for creating a software system for our major I.T. subject. At first, I was glad to have bonding with them during our first months of being a group, but in later days I was involved with controversies, conflicts, and misunderstandings from my group.
In January 2009, we decided to oust one of our group mates named “A” because of his “laziness” and some other commitments that he couldn’t help with us. He left from our group two months later. On the same time, two of us had some conflicts right after conducting our first oral defense. When we’re in senior (fourth) year in our I.T. course, we had our open forum unexpectedly to confess our bad feelings on one another which made me uncomfortable for it. Months later, although I was able to help with my group mates creating our software system, I felt unhappy with them because of some issues such as not-so-related topics, talking about my former crushes especially to “cutie Chinese” whom some of my group mates were closed to her, boring music that they played, and some poor decisions that they made especially making our own suggestions regarding to our software system that we made. Most of the time, I didn’t talk too much with them (except talking about our system) because of their “choleric” view (or ego, I mean), so that they were not so closed to me unlike my other classmates whom I had been with them most of our college times.
On October 10, 2009, after almost a year of boring life with my group mates, I finally set myself into freedom after we passed our final oral defense for a major I.T. subject. Because of my freedom from the bad nights that I had with them, my happiness was again resumed in my life, but it was only fell shortly after one month because of another controversy that I faced which caused my life almost vanished.
- Bullying affected my school life at IMS (in some dates between Aug. 2005-Apr. 2006)
After my wonderful life in the United States, I was unexpectedly transferred from my old deaf school where I studied for 10 long years to one school where there were no more deaf classmates around. International Montessori School (IMS), located inside Golden City subdivision, was my third school after PSD and ASD (both are deaf school) to be enrolled for my high school. However, my stint at IMS turned into some worst episodes happened in my school life. The main reason why I was unhappy to study at IMS was because of bullying. During the time when I studied at IMS, some of my “freak” classmates bullied me causing into anger and trauma. They’re throwing some scratched papers to me, pointing a pen as sign of “threat”, teasing because of my “soft” voice, and pushing me on the graduation practice that I let myself to go home from the stage.
These incidents made me so traumatized (even up to college and working place when bullying was still existed on me). That’s why some people bully me so much because I am a silent person. I feel so bad against those who bullied me before (so that most of them are already excommunicated from my friendship). Years after graduating from IMS, I have never met most of my former high school classmates (and former teachers, as well) either personal or in social media. There was some time that they invited me for a high school reunion, but I refused to go to meet some of them because I didn’t want to recall the past and trauma that they did to me so badly while we’re classmates.
- The unexpected break-up after 3 years of long distance relationship (Jun. 25, 2015)
This was the worst heart-broken incident happened in my love life. After three wonderful years of having loved each other despite of long distance, I and my girlfriend broke up because of complicated reasons. As what I have (always) mentioned in the past episodes of My Tent Journal, we started as textmates when she accidentally sent her wrong text message to me on February 1, 2011, and the rest was history. I courted her one year later thru text messaging, and after almost three months she answered my courtship (even though we had never met yet) to become my first ever non-deaf girlfriend and to end my 7-year love absence. During our long distance relationship, we only met 15 times with most romantic moments that we had and lasted three long years until we ended with regret.
- Worst Non-Sense Controversy Ever Happened in My Whole Life (Feb. 28, 2009 and Nov. 13, 2009)
During my first year in college, I met a new classmate, just called her “cutie Chinese”, who eventually became my crush because of her beauty and charm, but my attraction to her turned out into a “disaster”. In the months to come, I failed to court her because of her attitude – flirting to boys, wearing sexy outfit exploring her whitening body, and she seemed for money (looking for a rich guy). But despite of these, we remained good friends anyway, and I had been closed with her family. However, the friendship that I had with “cutie Chinese” and her family turned into the worst.
I had my biggest mistake in my life when I attempted to go at her house at late night (but I had no intention to do badly for her). This became controversial, and her [strict] mother, who had trust at me before, turned into my enemy when she confronted me with anger. I quickly responded when I asked “cutie Chinese” to forgive what I had mistakenly done. She accepted my apology, but I decided I had no longer to be friends with her and her family, as well. However, in my fourth and final year in college, the controversy was again alive from the “dead”.
Right after I met her pretty younger sister, it seemed that I had “stalked” her, and someone told her about my “wrong” doings in his place. I had no idea why the “non-sense” controversy was spoke-out again. I tried to explain evidently to “cutie Chinese” and also to her younger sister, but it was too late. On the Friday the 13th of November 2009, their strict mother again rushed in my house confronting my elderly parents for the second time, and the things went worsened which my life was about to vanish (I had almost planned to commit a suicide after the worst incident). When I came home from college, my elderly parents again scolded me so badly causing me into trauma, innocent, and panic for my own personal reputation. Because they didn’t understand what I have in my true feelings, I almost rebelled against my own parents because they didn’t protect or defend me like a true son. I kept my anger to them for few years to come despite of staying in one house until I realized for their respect.
Right after the worst incident, “cutie Chinese” and her family have been no longer as my friends because of what they’ve done to me so badly and excommunicated from any form of communication either personal or thru social media. However, because they’re still living in the same subdivision where I live, I always secure my own personal security to not see nor meet all of them personally all the times either inside or outside the place (that’s why I want to leave the place in the near future). In October 2013, I was surprised when “cutie Chinese”, who is already a mother of her first son, greeted me intentionally while I was biking around the subdivision, but I just “ignored” her because I have never recognized her (and her family) as my former college classmate and friend whom I had helped her in terms of her studies before (she had borrowed my programming books mostly) and even she has still recognized me as her good friend.