What If… Textmate and LDR Did Not Happen

Episode 23 – Monday, September 28th, 2015 (6845)

Having a textmate then falling in-love with her was already happened in my life in the past four years..., but what if all these things didn't happen?
Having a textmate then falling in-love with her was already happened in my life in the past four years…, but what if all these things didn’t happen? (Photo courtesy from wattpad.com)

It has been three months since I’ve been loveless, and I’m still thinking about searching for the “Right One” because of my maturity (I’m in near 30s). There are some times that I feel sad and desperate where someone is happy with his/her own love life (or love relationship) even when they are still young. In the past three years, I was very happy to have a fruitful love life when I had a girl from the North who gave me love, love, and love. But in the past three months, she has been no longer in my heart because she “left” me for some complicated reason.

But if ever we continued our long distance relationship, we had been blessed by Lord for having a strong love relationship despite of having long distance. Well, I miss that thing, but I need to move on for that. Three years of having a love relationship is somewhat wasted, and I’ve been hurt for that because of my sacrifice to travel further only to see and to be with that person whom I loved most. But… I have a question… what if… having a textmate and having a long distance relationship with her didn’t happen? There are too many explanations for this.

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If ever a mystery girl from the North didn’t send her text message accidentally to me (as “wrong sent”) on the first day of February year 2011, the rest would be my “new” history. My interaction with her as my textmate wouldn’t happen. I supposed to not waste my money to load my mobile phone only to have communication with her (as well as she’s asking me for her load). If ever I didn’t buy cellphone loads for communication between us, I could save money about 3,000 pesos in the past four years! I also supposed to have my time to look other girls nearby to court and to become my first ever non-deaf girlfriend instead of her.

But I had no idea why I fell in love to my textmate although we had not met each other yet. It was probably because of my loneliness (or feeling alone) so that I had liked to communicate with my textmate (thru text messaging) rather than many girls around. And searching for my love was in time because it had been 7 long years that I didn’t have any girlfriends since I shifted my life from so-called “Deaf World”. It’s hard to believe why I took my risk to court my textmate who was living in the North and in her teenage years. Gosh! If ever I didn’t have a textmate like her…, falling in love with her and courtship wouldn’t happen also, and having long distance relationship or LDR (if she answered my courtship) would not exist.

If these won’t happen, within three years, I would not travel far from my hometown in Laguna. I would not visit Nueva Ecija (where she currently studies in college). I would not treat her for our romantic date. I would not let her to accompany and to visit some places (including my hometown) for our special occasions (mostly our love anniversaries). I would not give my special gifts for her. I would not help her for any important purposes especially in her college studies (cellphone load, researching on internet, etc.). And, of course, I would not meet her personally (and see her beautiful face) for the first time after being textmates. Also if ever these situations that I’ve mentioned above didn’t happen, I could save my time and my money! Saving my time was supposed to be because I didn’t need to travel further causing my tiredness (in long travel from Laguna to Nueva Ecija), and saving my money was also supposed to be because I didn’t spend my expenses such as passenger fare in the bus going to Nueva Ecija and going back home, pasalubongs for her (and also to my family), spending our romantic date (eating lunch, dinner, etc.), travel some places (including her visit to Laguna in 2014), and special gifts for her.

However, if the LDR didn’t happen, my “love drought” would have been added for another three years from 7 long years. Just imagine 10 years without any girlfriend would happen for me if ever things didn’t happen in my whole life! Edi wow! Mabuti na lang at hindi umabot hanggang 10 years ang “love drought” (o pagiging single) ko kundi… kawawa na ako! Hehehe! And the unexpected break-up between me and my long distant girlfriend (textmate) wouldn’t happen, and my heart was supposed to remain stronger and not heart-broken like what it is right now.

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Another thing that these wouldn’t happen (and this would change my whole life (and also in her life, too) from the present) was changing my mobile (cellphone) number right before the “wrong send” would be come. There was an indication where I was thinking of changing my mobile number into new ones after the bad incident came in my working career in early 2011. During that time, I had Globe mobile number, but the Globe signal was so weak and empty especially when my phone was inside the house. There was one time when someone sent a text message on my Globe number. But I didn’t receive this because my phone was inside the house and using my Smart number during the time because it was a better signal than Globe especially inside the house. I was asleep on that day (it was Sunday) after working in a night shift schedule in Alabang. In my innocence, I still came at work on Sunday evening (this was because of rushing a deadline) when a security guard told me that there was no more schedule for that night after receiving a text message from my team leader in which was not received on my Globe number. I got upset and went home at night with nothing. Globe signal problems (inside the house) were the reason why I hardly contacted with my friends (who were Globe subscribers), and I needed to go outside the house only to get contact with them (that’s why I had used my Smart number for many years because it had a better signal, and no Globe signal at home was a problem for me until late 2013 when it was already solved).

As I told my story in early 2011, there was a time that I wanted to change my mobile number because of that incident. Or maybe, I would stick to use my Smart number (because it had signal strength) for communication with my friends rather than my Globe number which had a weak signal. I still remember that when my Globe number was used, my phone must be outside the house (hanging on a stem of a Chinese bamboo tree) because there was a signal outside rather than weak and empty signal inside. And if ever I used my Smart number on my phone (which was not a dual-SIM phone during that time) on that February day, I would not receive a wrong text message sent from a mystery girl who would be my textmate and eventually my girlfriend having LDR! This was because she used a Globe-affiliated number (that was Touch Mobile or TM) that she carelessly sent her text message to a wrong person who, unexpectedly, was me. If this was not supposed to happen, this would change my whole life forever! I would have no idea who was she. I wouldn’t have any textmate like her. I wouldn’t have a love relationship with a long distant girl like her. And I wouldn’t have wasted my time (and my money, as well) to have interaction like her.

My text communication wouldn’t exist if my textmate/girlfriend didn’t come in my life. (See Episode 11) During my college days and my first days of having a good job (from 2009 to January 2011), my SMS interaction with my friends was just steady, averaging about 80 text messages that I received per month (not including inspirational, spiritual, and funny text quotes). But when my textmate (later became my girlfriend) accidentally came up on my phone, we frequently communicated each other thru text messages almost every day, and the average had been increased by about 216 SMS that I received from my friends (including my texmate) per month in 2011 alone. From February 2011 to June 2015, the average was about 375 SMS received per month overall, and this was because of my textmate turned to be girlfriend for three years. But what if… she didn’t come to contact me on my phone? My text interaction with my friends would be the same or probably minimal. If ever, the average of SMS received might be lower than the expected (and already happened, see Chart 23-1).

Figure 1: Total of Text Messages Received in a Month from February 2011 to June 2015. If ever my textmate didn't exist, the text communication would be like (on the red line).
Chart 23-1: Total of text messages received in a month from February 2011 to June 2015. If ever my textmate didn’t exist, the text communication would be like this (on the red line).

And lastly, having a textmate was NOT really my priority during that time. In fact, I didn’t want to have a textmate because of personal security (as in, I didn’t want to talk with unknown stranger either personal, thru text messaging, or even thru social media). In 2008, I had three textmates that I supposed to have friends one of them after I asked my friend to give me some textmates that would be my “potential” friends and eventually to be my girlfriend as well. But because of security reasons, I never interacted all of them even once. If ever, she accidentally sent her text message to me during the time then I would refuse to interact with her to become friends because I didn’t want to have a textmate like her. I supposed to refuse to have like that, but… days later, I started interacting to an unknown stranger after I sent a Valentine’s greeting to her. And the rest was history. But if ever she didn’t become my textmate (and eventually my girlfriend), my history would have been changed forever!

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In the years between 2011 and 2015, I supposed to have my life without any textmates interacted or having long distance relationship. I could have been saving my time and my money. I could have been searching for a lady (nearby) to become my girlfriend (probably my pretty officemate in Alabang or in Mandaluyong where I had worked these two) and have a good healthy love relationship. Or I could remain single up to 10 long years. If these things happened to me in the past four years, I could remain to be a silent, shy, and loveless man. Eh di sana di ko na lang siya nakilala sa text at sana di na lang ako na-fallin’ love sa kanya. But these were already changed, thanks to my former textmate/girlfriend. She came into my life where she changed it and also my love life where I fell in love with her. I really want to tell her a big “thank you” for becoming my textmate and eventually my girlfriend for three fruitful years. As what she said on our final text messages after we broke-up, she thanked me a lot that changed her life and treasured our sweet memories. It has been already three months since she’s gone in my heart, and I really need to move on and search for the “right girl” in my life. God may not choose her to be my right love in a wrong place, but He will give me another one to be my “right girl” in the right place and in the right time for my future.

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Interesting Notes: Today is September 28th, right? But do you know that the date, September 28, is somewhat connected in my love life? Why? This date is the birthday of two of my former lovers – the one who was my former college classmate named “chubby” (not real name, of course) and became my college crush (but not became my girlfriend because of her controversy). And the other one who is also celebrating her birthday today was my former pretty textmate and long distant girlfriend for three long years.


3 thoughts on “What If… Textmate and LDR Did Not Happen

  1. Well, your love life sounds like something from clinical trials.gov.
    Perhaps your textmate will reimburse you for your cell phone usage. Then again, what you lost in time and opportunities is really you exchanging messages with a (probably fascinating) lady. That ain’t cheap…some dudes pay per minute… So you might as well cut your losses and quit sounding so regretful about a situation where you obviously came out on top. Win.

    1. Yeah. Thanks for your comment. I fell in love with my textmate in 2012, and she became my girlfriend even we had never met. We recently broke up last June after three years of LDR (we only met 15 times in 3 years). If these things didn’t happen, something would change my life from four years ago.

      1. I hear that! I should have never came back to a shitty town that I had already escaped once! Oh well! No do-overs.

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