Getting Tired

Episode 21 – Friday, September 18th, 2015 (6835)

Right now, I’m really not feeling well because of flu and heavy cough that I have for almost a week. However, there are some times that I can’t get enough rest especially in my (own) bedroom because of many distractions in the house particularly my jobless elder brother who is always calling my name just like yelling a goat. I really, really hate to be with him in two connected bedrooms that we shared because he’s so makulit! I also can’t concentrate on what I’m doing in my “own” office (inside my bedroom) because of him who always walks around, back and forth to his bedroom. I supposed to have a plan to “separate” or “divide” my bedroom from his, but I know he’s so skeptical and getting temper on what I’m complaining about. Siya na nga gumawa hindi maganda, eh siya pa ang galit (kung naiinis ako)! I could tell my offense about his “bullying” to my mother, but I know if ever she warns him he would get mad at me because he’s older than me, and I’m the youngest sibling (bunso). I feel so discriminated when I’m in the house. I was happy when he was not in home because he was on abroad working as Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), but I became devastated when he became jobless after he decided to not return his job in Saudi Arabia.

For me, the best solution to stay away from “bullying” of my jobless elder brother is to leave the “toxic” house and going to a silent place (like St. Clare Monastery in Cabuyao). However, I know I can’t stay too long for one whole day to be alone after getting away from noisiness and distraction in the house especially in weekends (my rest days). I can stay to rest in the house if I put headphone on my ears to listen my favorite music (some of the songs that my elder brother doesn’t like because of his different genre which is rock or punk music), but it’s not enough for me. This is the reason why I decided to go Sunday Feast at SM City Sta. Rosa despite of much tightened security where I (really) don’t see my “former” friends such as “royalprince” and “chubby”. And I’m still thinking on this Saturday where I will go outside to stay away from toxics and negativity in the house. Kaya nga ako nagkasakit dahil yan eh!

Recently last Sunday, this was my second consecutive Sunday that I attended Feast with Bro. Dreus Cosio despite of not feeling well. Although I felt so ill, I could serve at Media Ministry when I handled digital camera for the session. However, I didn’t complete the whole session (right after the fourth worship song and hugging with friends) because of my illness (and after I saw “royalprince” and “chubby” standing with their former college classmates just few steps away from the media controller where I stood with Earl and Lanie). I told Lanie and Bro. Hanz pleasantly before I left that I needed to go home because of not feeling well. When I went out from the cinema, I was thinking if I would go home or stay longer elsewhere but not in SM City Sta. Rosa (I hate crowded places like that). If ever I went straight to home, I would be not comfortable to rest because of many distractions especially my jobless elder brother who sometimes bullies me like frequently calling my name which sounded like a goat. Instead, I just decided to go to San Pedro and took my “silent and distract-free” rest at the office (where I work as graphic designer). And because I had keys for the office, I could be able to stay there alone for a while in very sunny Sunday afternoon. Mabuti pa nga kung nasa office ako mag-rest kaysa naman sa bahay na puro distractions at may “pakialamerong” kuya! Although there was no bed inside the office (I wish I could buy it for the office only), I took a little bit comfort and “stress-free”, and the office has air-conditioning unlike in the house where it’s so hot like in an oven! I don’t own that office where I work, but I feel free to take time to rest. Before five o’clock, I left the office then bought some groceries before going home with nice and cool weather.

I’m so getting tired to stay at the house with full of “toxics” and negativity. That’s why I’m planning to leave home on weekends (my day-off) to stay away from these. Aside of having my Sunday schedule where I’ve been attending Feast at SM City Sta. Rosa and talking with my Feast friends (if necessary), leaving home on Saturdays is in doubt. The only full rest day for me, staying home on Saturdays is just normal but still with distractions such as “bullying” from my jobless elder brother. It is also the day where I go to St. Clare to my prayer petitions every Saturday morning via biking exercise where I can pass to Mariquita and Cabuyao thru “shortcut key” from Golden City and after praying, I can eat my “own” breakfast at convenience store. Now, the question is… where shall I go this Saturday? I can invite some friends especially from the Feast (but please I don’t want to discuss about Pabebe, #AlDub, or some non-sense issues that makes me so baduy). Sadly, I have no more friends around, not only inside Golden City, but also elsewhere in Laguna (when I had a girlfriend before, I used to go Nueva Ecija to stay overnight before meeting her occasionally, but since I’m no longer in relationship with her, parang… wala na akong tambayan… mag-isa nalang ako… huhuhuhu!!!). I’m hoping I will find a true friend or even the “right one” to have our companionship especially on weekends. And take note, when we need to take our selfie (or groupie rather), I don’t like to wave my hands into pabebe way (I’m not killjoy (KJ) but please don’t do it because God never teach us how to wave our hands into pabebe).

angel

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In current times, I’m getting tired to hear or to discuss from other friends about the “world of Philippine TV” where many things are now trend in our modern times and in our pop culture such as #AlDub phenomenon and so-called Pabebe Wave. In real life, I’m not influenced with these because they were made and enjoyed by the masses (from middle-class to low-class people that include squatters). I’m not against those people making their popularity on Philippine television, but I emphasize them influencing our Filipino people in terms of ratings, copying, and dirty competition. But again, in what I mentioned in some past episodes (see Episode 16), I NEVER watch TV that broadcast from the Philippines because I’m so sick and tired watching “recycled” and “so-flirting” shows (take note: “so-flirting” refers to kiligserye shows involving loveteams including what I’ve mentioned above) including too early political advertisements endorsed by most “dirty” Filipino politicians. I only watch TV when there’s sporting events like basketball (Gilas Pilipinas #PUSO). But sadly, there are only few sports existed in the Philippines aside of basketball and volleyball, and even sometimes they are not televised or broadcast live thru national TV. That’s why I refer to watch TV from United States because there are a lot of game shows and sporting events that make me excited like NBA, American Football, and even local (or national) news that I like to watch rather than dirty “Network War” in the Philippines (even worse than dirty politics).

Even thru social media like Facebook and Twitter, I really hate to see or to read from some people (or even some of my other friends, as well) who are bashing or criticizing particular thing, person, or even a show from any broadcasting network (most especially celebrities). I feel for them (bashers and haters) that they are closed-minded, skeptical, pessimistic, suspicious, not so religious, and even hypocrites. I know some of them attending Sunday masses (or even attending Feast) and listening God’s words. They are good inside the church while attending the mass, but outside they still continue what they’re doing bad things (mostly in social media) such as bashing, bullying, criticizing, etc. There’s a simple message for them: Haters gonna hate!

It’s so sad when Pope Francis visited our beloved country last January we, our Filipino people, were united for him, but months after because of what’s happening right now especially in the “dirty” world of Philippine TV, most Filipinos are now “fighting” thru social media.

There’s nothing bad watching TV and exploring social media because it gives us knowledge, information and lessons. But those intolerant people who use social media to bash other people are totally making the minds of our Filipino people into negativity and corrupt. Even in my family, watching shows on TV influence them so that’s why they think so negatively when they’re talking about. And that’s why I don’t want to involve what they’re discussing especially the world of Philippine entertainment. I feel bad for them. I know most of you will relate this topic.

The best way that we must stay from these distractions is to pray and to read God’s words from the bible. Nowadays, most Filipinos (especially teenagers and middle-ages) are no longer religious, but we’re still hoping that someday they will change their attitude most especially to my elder brother that I wish his attitude will be changed from being “rebellious” and temper.

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