Episode 20 – Wednesday, September 16th, 2015 (6833)
It’s already “ber” months, but it has been 12 weeks since I’ve been loveless and single. And I’m thinking it’s time to move on from the break-up of my former love and to look for my next love adventure. However, because I’m in near 30s, my love system has been declined in terms of having a courtship to look someone who will be my girl forever. So it will be hard time for me to handle besides I don’t really have too much socialize other friends (especially those who are not too closed to me) due of not being shyness but of my personality.
I have 12 “complicated” reasons that someone must be perfect (or some optional) in my heart. (Note: these are just my suggestions only that I might be serious implementing on these to have a perfect relationship.)
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- Attitude and personality
I first observe the attitude and the personality of a particular girl. She must have her good pleasing personality (beautiful, fair, quite kikay, either tsinay or mestisa, and might be not too tall or too short enough, but I don’t like boyish look and being snobbish or suplada) and good moral character (must act like a beautiful lady, and NOT too much overacting, flirty or pabebe, and I don’t want her to be too conservative or old-fashioned). She must be loyal and having a trust as a true friend as well. She might be living in simple life (middle-class) with her good (and happy) family. In other words, she must be… simple. And one more thing, she must NOT have any disability in her personal appearance such as deaf (and mute).
One example that I had encountered was when I met my former crush (and classmate) in college. She supposed to be beautiful and kikay as well, but her attitude and personality was quite disgusting to some aspects that I was looking for. I had observed that she was flirting with other guys, wearing disgusting dresses that exposed her whitening body, and of course, her attitude was not so perfect that I didn’t expected. Sometimes, she acted crazy and silly, but not all the times when I met her personally. She, however, was my good friend every time when we met and talked each other with our pleasure (but she was already excommunicated from my friendship).
- Age Doesn’t Matter
In Post-Deaf World Era (from 2005-present), I had courted some girls during my college times who have their age gap about 2-4 years younger than me. But in 2011, I had a textmate from the North who was too younger than my age (she was 15-16 while I was 25 during that time), and because of this, I had my secret feelings to her although we had not met each other. I started to court her thru text messages, and after almost three months, on June 17th 2012, she finally answered my courtship to become my first ever girlfriend, and we had our long distance relationship which was lasted for three long years until we disbanded 10 weeks ago.
Now, I’m talking about the age limit of possibility of having a girlfriend. However, within those days, I’m trying to re-amend my rule that I can court a girl who must be 18 years old and above (but not older than my current age). Some others said “age doesn’t matter”, but for me if ever I’ll reach 30s then I have a girlfriend who is about 10 years younger than me, it’s too embarrassing! Somebody might gossip about us, “Parang mag-tito lang sila…” like what “chubby” did to her “special friend” and controversial suitor called “tito” in 2007. I don’t think I’ll be an old bachelor forever if ever I’m not falling-in love with someone.
- College graduate (and has stable job)
Another reason is that she must be a college graduate. Usually, the average age of graduating students is 20 years old, but since the implementing of K-to-12 program (I’m not sure if this will be reality), this will add another two years of the students’ age to be graduated. A girl that I’m searching must be a college graduate (at least, bachelor degree) or have finished her college studies and a stable working career (it’s ok for me if she doesn’t have any job right after her college graduation but not as long as being idle for months or even years). It’s acceptable for me to have a girlfriend if she is still a college student, but she must balance her time between me and her studies. And take note, I’m NOT willing or encouraged to give any finances for her college education (tuition, etc.) if she’s still a student. However, I don’t want a girl who has been in 20s but finished only high school (because of poverty (financial problems) or willing to work right after high school rather than continuing her studies in college).
- Limitations about Her Names
I strictly implement the names of my future crush that no one has the same name of some of my former crushes and my mortal enemies as well. These are the following names that I will NOT accept for the potential “candidates” in my searching:
- Spanish term for “Mary”
- Names that mean “clear”
- 4th month of the year
- An actress named Chiu
- King’s partner (+ “ie”)
- Feminine of Leon
- A girl in Wizard of Oz
- And other “old-fashioned” names (seem to be old 1950s or 1970s names)
In my Tent system, I hate to use these names of my past “love life” and enemies as well in the name of my future crush to be my next dream girlfriend because they are considered as my “past” life.
- Religious issues
Having different religion or religious sector is the one of my problems when I’m courting a girl. I’m Catholic, and I must look for a girl who must be also a Catholic (or attending Feast might be better). Although my former girlfriend’s religion is not Catholic (she’s Born Again Christian), I still accepted her as my love because we understood whatever religion was.
One way of example that I carelessly admitted was my “illegitimate” dating with ‘Q’. In mid-2009, I met her who was so young and quite pretty, but the problem was that she’s non-Catholic and deaf! Her religion is Jehovah’s Witnesses. I didn’t know, during the time when I was in deaf school, why I admitted her to be my girlfriend although her religion was not the same as mine! “No! No! This is wrong!” Few days later, I just rejected her from my feelings because I had seemed that she’s really not perfect in my aspects of having a girlfriend including her being Jehovah chuvaness eklavu! Hehe!!!
So, if ever I look for a crush (or next girlfriend), shall be I willing to ask her what’s her religion?
- No Boyfriend or Any Commitments
Of course, I don’t want to meet a girl who has already in relationship (or having a boyfriend)! Even those who are already single mother (or having child/children at her young age but unmarried) are NOT acceptable. Virginity is the one of toughest reasons that I made. It’s acceptable for me if a girl had past relationship but never have any sexual experience. No boyfriend since birth (or NBSB) is better acceptable.
- Positive thinking
One of the best reasons that I’m looking for is a positive attitude of a girl. She must be open-minded especially when the times that I’m in trouble and sharing or opening up my feelings to her that she understands. I don’t want a girl who is too choleric, hypocrite, close-minded and full of negativity.
- Being a “die-hard” fan
This is NOT a fan like electric fan or whatever, but this is about being her fan of any popular or idolized people or things. I really don’t want to have idolized these because I’m NOT one of those who are die-hard fans (or fantards). To be honest, I’m really NOT a fan (or idolize) of the following: K-Pop (Korean pop music or any Korean artists), J-Pop (from Japan), Asianovelas (mostly from Korea), Animé (mostly from Japan and wearing cosplay), and loveteams such as #AlDub, #KathNiel, #JaDine, etc. It is because they are so NOT cool (baduy, I mean). No offense for those who love or idolize these, but I don’t really like these (although I rarely watch Japanese animés (such as Detective Conan) but not too much) most especially Koreanovelas that are currently broadcasted in the Philippines (dubbed in Filipino). Also, I don’t want someone who is a “die-hard” fan (or fantard) of any TV networks in the Philippines because of “dirty competition” and dirty “network war” (see No. 9) where most of the fans are arguing about these most especially in social media. So if ever, a girl that I’m looking for my heart must NOT be a fan of these (or an option may be acceptable for consideration). However, it’s better to accept that she’s a fan of any sports teams (as I’m a fan of sports particularly in NBA).
- Kapamilya or Kapuso or even Kapatid?
I don’t know if a girl that I’m looking for has been watching either Kapamilya (ABS-CBN) or Kapusa eh este Kapuso pala (GMA, but not the former president, ha!) or Kapatid (TV5 but not Iglesia ni Cristo). According to my own statistics, almost 90% of my watching television is referring to Kapamilya because of good quality programming and not being brag in terms of ratings. However, I’m not really watching TV too much nowadays because of so-boring shows (except for live sports events such as NBA) and “dirty competition” that exists among TV networks (so-called “network war” which make our Filipino people into negativity (especially in social media) when they watch TV mostly).
If ever I’ll court a girl (or a crush) to become my girlfriend, and then I’ll find out that she’s watching that brag “heart” network mostly, what do you think that we will have a debate over TV networks in the Philippines? What if… we’ll be engaged and get married, shall we argue for that about changing the channels that we like to watch on TV? Bakit ba kasi may “network war” ngayon eh?!!! If ever, a girl is certified (or even sometimes) Kapamilya, and then I court her to be my girlfriend…, that’s good! But it’s better if she never watch Philippine TV anymore but instead she watches foreign TV shows and movies too (mostly from the U.S.); that’s perfect! Hehe!!
- Security Reasons
The problem in my searching for my next dream girlfriend is the security. Connection with my common friends is an example. Because of the modern technology existed like mobile phone, internet most especially in most social websites like Facebook, Twitter, etc., most of them have already connected with my former crushes, my former high school and college classmates, and my enemies (or “Anti-Tent” antagonists) as well (having a mutual friend like in Facebook). I can’t tell to you who are they (most especially “Anti-Tent”), but I don’t like some of them because of their attitudes or personalities that made me so hurt in the past. In short, she must have NO common friends (or enemies) of mine! Having her common friends such as my former colleague at work or even at the Feast is better. (Note: only for those who have common friends in the 1st degree are applied.)
Because of my strict personal security, I can’t court a girl who is probably or possibly connected with them. Another is that if ever I and my future girlfriend gather together in a mall then my former crush or sweetheart or even my enemies might be there in the same place, there will be possibility to encounter between us for some complicated and sensitive issue (like past relationship, courtship, or even they want my future girlfriend to be friends with them who are identified as my “enemies” or even already excommunicated from my friendship). My future girlfriend, if ever I court her successfully, must understand my problems and situations with my former crushes or sweethearts or even enemies (or adversaries) that she might encounter.
Having a textmate might be better, but since I had a girlfriend before who was my textmate from the North, I think I don’t want to have this set-up (such as long distance relationship) because of what happened 10 weeks ago when we broke-up our LDR after three years. It’s acceptable for me to have a textmate, but please I don’t want to have a textmate who lives in a very far place.
For those who will be my next girl in my life, I must find out them if ever they have connection with my enemies or not, but because of modern technology I will get hard time to discover that they have interacted with some of my “past” and “old” friends most especially my current enemies.
- Having a good parent (or family)
Having a good family is an example of having a good relationship. I know traditionally that the girl’s parents (mostly her father) might warn or advice her about love life. But if her parents are good and positive-minded, she’s acceptable for me (as one of my “candidates”). Good parents (of a girl) equal good relationship between me and them. If ever she has bad parents (negative, close-minded, choleric, etc.), good relationship might be torn. Good parenting is the perfect example if the family and the children are good and positive. The siblings of a girl that I’m looking for must be good and positive attitude as well as they learn good values from their parents. As what I’ve mentioned above, she must have good moral attitude if she’s from good parents. Bad parenting and having bad siblings are disastrous to have a good relationship between me and my future girl. My future will be perfect with my girl if there’s a good parenting from her side (not both because my parents are already too old enough).
- Avoid being a “friendzone”
It’s so bad if a girl that you want to be your girl ends up into friendzone! Saklap yun! Having basted from a girl that you courted or being friendzone are the things that I need to avoid. Well, that’s normal to a person (especially guys out there) to experience the part of a love life. But I really don’t want some girls who just want to “play” love instead a serious romantic relationship or courtship. If someone wants to have a serious relationship, tell their true feelings seriously and truly from their heart (not scripted). Someone may end their good friendship, but some will break. But for me, if someone wants to “play” me into love affair, I might accept her to be friends (if she will ask me for forgiveness) or else… she might be excommunicated from my friendship.
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One of my “guardian angels” told me that I need to get my next dream girlfriend right before Christmas (Dec. 25, 2015) because if I won’t find any, my Christmas this year will be the saddest (since 2011) without having a love life. I’m not in hurry to get it as soon as possible, but I don’t want to wait it for years (just like I had been single for 7 long years before my long time textmate became my first ever girlfriend in 2012) to waste my time and opportunity as I’m getting older.
But wait… wait a minute. During the past two months of being single, I was thinking if I wanted to decide that I would “retire” my love life. Does it mean that I will never fall in love again and forever single? Shall I never plan to search for another girl in my life? What if I don’t expect that my former girlfriend will return to my heart? It seems too impossible but let’s see if happens. Or… looking another girl for my next dream girlfriend? It’s so tough for me because I’m no longer a teenager and getting so mature. I’m already too old for this situation (emerged since 1997), but I’m still hoping someday that someone will be the right “key” to open my heart from being dull into happiness!
Anyway, these reasons are only applied on my searching for my next dream girlfriend. But this seems impossible for me to find a perfect girl because none of us are perfect. I’m not crazy to do these things, but I want these (but not all) to have a perfect relationship seriously. Some rules might be followed; some won’t. But the most important reason why I’m doing this is to look for a right lady directly from my heart. I’ll follow my heart to find my dream sweetheart.