Episode 7 – Tuesday, July 7th, 2015 (6762)
Last Sunday, July 5th, it was my Day 10 of being single (and loveless), and it was supposed to be my peaceful rest day. But suddenly, that day would become terrible for me.
After my breakfast, I started to read today’s newspaper while eating my favorite yogurt. Later, my father called me to help his walk going back inside the house. He was suffered mild stroke last late January and barely walked (sitting his wheelchair then he’s now able to walk slowly using a quad cane), so that my mother and my other siblings needed to help his recovery. My elder brother was not in the house during that time because of some reasons (he has still been jobless since last year from working abroad, and my mother dramatically warned him to look a better job for his better future (he’s already near 44) just like me before when I was jobless in late 2013), and my mother was not there because of her busy things outside. Then, I halted my reading newspaper and stood up to help my father walking to the door from his wheelchair. My eldest sisters, who are twins, were busy to eat their breakfast (although the one came at me to see my assistance to our healing father). But suddenly, when I supposed to hold his hand and his back while he’s walking (using his quad cane) towards the door, my father fell down, and my eldest sisters were shocked and approached me with anger. We assisted our father to stand up and sit on a comfortable chair with his pain from his bad fall. And because I was the one who helped my father’s walk, obviously my eldest (twin) sisters scolded me over and over again after the incident. I thought I made a huge mistake that I did to my father who needed his recovery from suffering mild stroke 5 months ago. Because of the incident, I didn’t finish reading today’s newspaper and eating my favorite yogurt on the dining table. Then, I entered to my bedroom stunned and troubled. I felt almost nervous for that because of his bad fall (but the good thing was he’s okay).
This caused my day so bad. I didn’t cry, but was so hurt. I felt so bad that I didn’t help my healing father in most of times at home (my mother (or sometimes my elder jobless brother) has been always taking most of her duties to him like taking him a bath, changing his clothes, preparing for his food, medicine, etc. as being a “caregiver” to him) because I had (but not always) disliked him for what he had done his mistakes in the past (especially since I came back home from the U.S. in 2005). And this led my decision to go the Feast to cure my troubles in home (pampalipas ng sama ng loob).
— 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 —
This was my first time to go and to attend Feast SM Santa Rosa after disbanding Feast Biñan last June 6th. I supposed to not attend, but despite of my “very tight” security to go at SM City Santa Rosa, I took my risk to attend what I would expect. It was still the same as the previous Feast sessions while it was in Central Mall Biñan, and it’s now located at Cinema 1; however, I noticed that there was no more (Sunday) mass at the beginning (but I hope the mass will return someday), instead the entrance worship song led the beginning of the Feast. I missed Feast so much (and I also missed serving Feast; however, my serving has been in temporary hiatus for a while due of some reasons). I spotted my Feast friend, Earl Pascua, who was busy taking some pictures. I also saw my other friends like Ralph Deniega and Maeliza Tavera singing with others at the Music Ministry.
Then, Bro. Andreus Cosio came to share a talk from the series, Jesus Entrepreneur: Divide. It was a fourth and final talk of that series (I miss the first three talks – Add, Subtract, and Multiply). I enjoyed the talk because I related it so much like giving some of my money to my family from my monthly salary in my work. Before the Feast ended, one guy (I forgot his name, and I think he’s from Music Ministry) introduced me and asked if I would be interested to join for the Light Group which would be held right after the Feast. But I just told him that I would be busy on that day (I was pretending during that time because I don’t want to have my time wasted and also due of security reasons), so he asked me to give my mobile number to him to text about our schedule (but I just gave him my old mobile number which has been no longer to use effectively from July 1st). After the final worship song, I met my Feast friend, Carlo, before I immediately went out from the movie theater after he called my former college classmate (just named him as “royalprince”) who was also present to attend the Feast standing at the upper side of the theater. I didn’t see him anyway because of some reasons that I really don’t want to see or to talk with him (read Episode 3), and I just rushed away going out there (I heard Marian Carpo’s voice, but I didn’t notice before I went out).
I wondered why my former college classmate was present, and I thought he was in a seminar or from “gala night” a night before for a financial school (company). Did he leave that company just what I’ve done? Porke wala na ako dun eh wala na rin sya? And I noticed from some Facebook news feed that he had lunch with some of my Feast friends at SM City Santa Rosa. It was better for me to stay away from him and to leave there immediately. But I didn’t go home instead I just went to Paseo to take a lunch ALONE. Wawa naman… alone na loner pa! Tsk…tsk…tsk…
Why did I attend Sunday Feast in a rarest time? It’s simple. Because of the incident happened in my house (I’ve already mentioned at the first part of this article), I needed to talk somebody (only close friends from Feast) about the terrible happenings in my life (especially it’s so difficult for me to move on from the break-up of my former long distant girlfriend just few days ago) that made me so depressed and weakened. But I had no opportunity to confess anyone there. While attending the Feast, I only met Bro. Hans from Media (and Music) Ministry, Earl, and Carlo. I didn’t meet or talk most of my Feast friends because of my “very tight” security and I don’t want to see “royalprince”, so that I rushed to go out from there.
— 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 — 0 —
After my escape from SM City Santa Rosa, I went to Paseo (de Santa Rosa) to eat lunch ALONE. Being “depressed” and alone from my Feast friends at SM, I was often sad while I was eating. I was still remembering that times when I was with my former girlfriend eating together for our date in Nueva Ecija before. That’s so sad that we’re no longer to do that again. I didn’t cry, of course, in a public place like what I had done to eat lunch, but I felt so depressed and frustrated. After my lunch, I walked alone going to Southern Luzon Hospital and Medical Center where Feast Santa Rosa was there, located at the 8th floor. I met only few friends that I’ve known there when I entered. Later, I attended a special talk presented by Bro. Noel Babao titled Growth (Physical and Spiritual). It was actually his fourth talk after his successful bypass operation last January (it was also actually discussed during Jesus Encounter last month where some of my Feast friends were there including… my former college classmate AGAIN). I enjoyed his talk with some fun and interesting to learn especially about the types of Prayer and Faith (sampalataya: sampa + taya). I stayed there for about 1 and a half hour before I left quietly because of bad weather condition outside. I didn’t attend Sunday Feast there with mass. Still feeling depressed, I was able to go back to Paseo despite of some heavy rains (due of typhoon) and arrived home safely with exhaustion.