Post-LDR and “Transition” Period

Episode 6 – Monday, July 6th, 2015 (6761)

Within just few days after disbanding my long distance relationship to my girlfriend from the North, I really don’t know what to do next. I also don’t know if I’m still hurt or depressed after our break up last June 25th, but that’s life. I’m still thinking around but not just in time right now because I’m still in “transition” (or “moving on” stage) from having a relationship lasted for three strong years down to be single again.

And this is no longer a “curse” for me because I have already had a non-deaf girlfriend before that led breaking the “curse” for 7 long years of loveless after I was belonged to so-called “Deaf World”.

There was one article in my old All About Tent way back in 2009 where I was writing about searching for my first ever non-deaf girlfriend, and I said before if ever I would reach 25 years of my age, I would stop searching for my girl again, and if ever I would find a girl to love me, she would be my last girlfriend to stay in a relationship together. Three years later, when I was just 25 years old, my long time textmate became my first ever girlfriend in Post-Deaf World Era. But… after three years, she would be gone forever. That’s it.

My former girlfriend told me thru text during our final conversation that I shouldn’t wait for her to come back after she decided to break up me from our relationship because of her complicated situation. I just accepted her will because I didn’t want to let her to be troubled in her situation (I don’t tell this reason because it’s really complicated). I felt so sad for her and also between us. That’s her decision, and that’s my decision.

I just listen a song from Aegis titled, Sayang na Sayang, because of our long distance relationship went to be regretted. Sayang na sayang talaga! Woohooo! Hehehe!

nmx6s

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I just laughed in my mind when I was thinking if I was waiting for 7 years to grab a girl to be my girlfriend…, I should wait for another 7 years to have love life again! What? Wag ganun… parang Barangay Ginebra lang, 7 years na sila di nagchachampion sa PBA! Hehehe! Or even Cleveland Cavaliers where they’re still waiting for their first ever championship (in any pro sports) in more than 50 years in their city! So, break na kami, pero di pa rin sila nagchachampion! Hahaha!

Anyway, the question is… who will be the girl to be my next (second) girlfriend?

There are so many beautiful ladies (“potential candidates”) around right now to be qualified for me, but I really don’t think about it while the transition stage is going on. For now, my heart is closed (signing-off) for a while.

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Last June 27th, Saturday, just two days after the break-up, I went to St. Clare Monastery for the first time since I became single. Suddenly when I was approaching to the monastery using my bicycle, I met my Feast friend, Earl Pascua, and he knew about my situation after he read Episode 2 of this blog. He reminded me that I must join to CG (Care/Connect Group) on Sunday with him and other Feast friends. He also invited me to join Jesus Encounter later that day. But I really didn’t want to join these for some reasons (especially when I was still heartbroken during that time) even he insisted me to have our CG. (Eventually, I knew on that day my former college classmate would be present at Jesus Encounter, so that I expected to not go there for some reasons that I wanted to stay away from him.) We talked shortly before he left, and I went to the chapel to tell thanks to God for blessings that I received and to pray myself, my health, my family, our finances, and of course, my former girlfriend and her family, as well.

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Riding a bus for a long travel going home from Cabanatuan, Nueva Ecija in Sept. 2012.

Riding a bus for a long travel going home from Cabanatuan, Nueva Ecija in Sept. 2012.

One of the things that I will miss is the long travel to Nueva Ecija. Yes, indeed. In the stretch of 122 miles (or 151 miles maximum) of long travel during my trip going to the province, I have still remembered when it was my first time to go there in June 2012. I was thinking I would be lost there, but I remained positive to go to the place where I would meet my girlfriend for our very first meeting in personal appearance after being textmates. And since then, I went there for our romantic date in some occasions such as her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s and our anniversaries. I had been there for 15 times in the span of three years. I had supposed to have my plan to visit her hometown in Cordillera (more than 260 miles away from my home in Laguna) after her college graduation, but because of our break-up, it would never be happened. Ayyyy… I will really miss that place, and I will really miss long travel that caused my mother sometimes to be worried because in some few times when I arrived home late (or past midnight) straight from Cabanatuan after the date. But I will never do these again. How sad it is. And because of that, I will hear a song titled Sayang ang Lahat by True Faith.

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I still don’t understand why I chose my long distant textmate to be my girlfriend rather than other girls around and very near to my place. I had crushes before during my job stint in Alabang from 2010 to 2012 where mostly were proofreaders. However, several months after that textmate came into my life, I started to be in-love with her even though we had never met each other. And the time when we became lovers, it was my sacrifice and patience to travel long journey to just meet her to have our nice romantic date. But if ever I didn’t fall in love with that textmate thru text messages, I could court other girls around nearby or else, I would remain single that possibly reached my loveless times up to 10 years!

Sadly, I have been no longer to receive text messages especially from her (as my former textmate and girlfriend, as well) anymore. And because I already changed my mobile number due of security reasons (that I don’t want to receive any “unsolicited” text messages especially from my former mentor in “IMAGE”), I think I really miss to communicate from somebody most especially from her. Just before becoming my first ever girlfriend, she was my one and only textmate in my life (although I had another textmate before where we first interacted thru phone call, but until now I have never met her because I don’t like her personality (have already seen on her Facebook) despite of very near distance). When we became lovers, we continued to communicate thru text messages despite of having long distance relationship (LDR). In fact, during our three-year LDR, we had a total of 22,800++ text messages (according to my database that I’ve saved our text messages from my mobile phone). These were not included text quotes and text messages during the time when we’re textmates from 2011. Thanks to the technology (mobile phones) and unlimited text promos provided by the mobile networks. Imagine, if these promos have not been existed in present-day technology, I would spend so expensive for just having a communication between us. Or even if we were in 1960s or 70s, we would need sending our letters and waiting to receive these in days, or if we’re in 1980s or 90s, we would need to call ourselves using thru long distance call in a higher cost per minute (unlike today, thanks to the unlimited call promos).

Anyway, I wanted to thank her to be part of my life in the last four years (one year as being textmates and three years as being lovers) that she made me happy, and we shall never forget our cherish memories.

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